# Finding A Happy Medium



## prevish gang

We have been out camping 4 times in a month and a half and my DH announced today that he didn't know how much we will be able to camp because he can't keep his yard the way he wants it to be and coming in on Sunday makes getting back to work stressful because when we return there is the issues of getting things cleaned up and repacked. I really can't understand this since I do all the work inside the TT both before and after the trip. I think because it is spring and we have had all the pollen and tree stuff falling it was a matter for awhile of blowing off the driveway and returning to a yard that needs mowing and then having to get ready for our next business week. We have a home-based business and are extremely busy Mon-Fri. This week is a 7 day work week and so there is NO down time. Our next camping adventure is 2 weeks away, but he says he is already feeling stressed about being gone and he knows that if this continues that he will begin to feel angry if this continues all summer.

How do you find a happy medium, or do I just learn to set up the TT and leave him home to worship the yard?


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## CamperAndy

Just plan ahead. It does not sound like you need to worry about kids and where they need to be (if you don't count the yard). So you should be able to go as you want. The yard will survive a weekend.

So it has to be more then the yard. What else is up?


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## countrygirl

prevish gang said:


> We have been out camping 4 times in a month and a half and my DH announced today that he didn't know how much we will be able to camp because he can't keep his yard the way he wants it to be and coming in on Sunday makes getting back to work stressful because when we return there is the issues of getting things cleaned up and repacked. I really can't understand this since I do all the work inside the TT both before and after the trip. I think because it is spring and we have had all the pollen and tree stuff falling it was a matter for awhile of blowing off the driveway and returning to a yard that needs mowing and then having to get ready for our next business week. We have a home-based business and are extremely busy Mon-Fri. This week is a 7 day work week and so there is NO down time. Our next camping adventure is 2 weeks away, but he says he is already feeling stressed about being gone and he knows that if this continues that he will begin to feel angry if this continues all summer.
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> How do you find a happy medium, or do I just learn to set up the TT and leave him home to worship the yard?
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> LOL...leave him home to worship the yard!! Love it!


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## countrygirl

Well I am new here but I think I read your gang includes children...I take it that they are getting those science projects and major reports done on time...if so don't sweat the small stuff....the grass will always be there....your kids will grow and leave to be on their own...enjoy them now...time is precious. JM2 cents worth.


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## Y-Guy

One word... Landscaper! Best money I spend to relive my stress. I really don't like yardwork much anyway and I hate mowing when its 100 degrees. It was that or buy a riding mower, figure that for the price it would take 6 years to for the mower and the landscaper to equal out just on the price of a mower not including gas and time. Best of all each week it gets mowed, we do basic weeding, etc. I can spend quality time with my kids and not time mowing. I grew up with a father who's idea of a fun weekend was yardwork... I prefer to enjoy other things. Unpacking can be a pain, key to me is to buy enough things that stay in the camper that the only thing we have to unload is our clothes and fresh foods and our quads... everything else stays in. I will say that 4 times in a month would be a lot for me too, we usually go for about twice a month it seems.


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## Oregon_Camper

Landscaper or some neighbor kid. I prefer the neighbor kid because I mowed lawns as a child and I know how cool it is to earn a greenback at that age!!


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## huntr70

I would have to say that there may be an underlying problem hidden in there.

If you are taking care of the packing and unpacking, there has got to be another problem. Yard work is yardwork. I have over an acre and like to keep it niceand neat all summer long also, but I am definitely not obsessed with it.

Does he feel the need to keep up with neighbors?? Do they mow there grass every Saturday morning, whether it needs it or not??

We all have other work that needs to be done, you just need to let it ride and enjoy the camping time with the kids.

If he keeps stressing himself about things every time, he is gonna implode soon!!!









I'm not a therapist........but I did stay in an Outback last night.
















Steve


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## countrygirl

"








I'm not a therapist........but I did stay in an Outback last night.














"

Steve
[snapback]109488[/snapback]​
Priceless!!!


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## Highlander96

If you work from home........Set his cell phone to vibrate and cut the lawn at lunchtime. It can be very theraputic to walk away from your desk in the middle of a busy day and cut the lawn.

I spend a lot of nights in hotels for work, so the Outback is a great option for travel. Between working full time, taking care of two small kids and a 65 y/o disabled father, I cherish every moment I can spend in my Outback.

Good Luck!!!!!

Tim


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## Doxie-Doglover

OMG!









of all the millions of reasons I love this forum, I have to add that hearing people say what I have been thinking is great! Whenever we go somewhere camping, Rick, the yard God is worrying about getting back to his yard. Geez. Ok, so I like my house clean too, but get real! we only live once! I keep telling him that at 46 and 52 we could well be over the halfway mark, let's have fun!we always have to allow a day before and a day after for him to get caught up. If he gets stressed then he gets grumpy and I have to get my claws out







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I have been wanting for 2 years to learn to tow tt myself. Tried it last year, I had been talking about it for so long so Rick simply pulled over between Kahlotus and Washtucna, Wa. ( enroute to my dad's USFS campground in Idaho) and had me drive. OMG, I was freaked. I refused to drive beyond Colfax and haven't tried again. I keep threatening to find someone to give me towing lessons, but it has to be someone I am not married to! in addition, God forbid if I got a mark on his pickup....MEN!

I know lots of women drive the tv, but I just can't over the fact that I can't see the cars behind me and can't judge the space between them and me and how much width of the road I am taking up! I know, I am a sissy, probably need therapy huh?

HOWEVER! I WILL learn to tow, I will, I will, I will....I heard a lady recently who said she finally mastered it so she could go without HIM, but when she gets to destination she has to find some nice person to back it in and level it.

I know I will hear from Darlene on this one! go ahead girl! let me have it for being such a wussy! or as my nephews call it " sissy la la"


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## Highlander96

tlm said:


> OMG!
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> of all the millions of reasons I love this forum, I have to add that hearing people say what I have been thinking is great! Whenever we go somewhere camping, Rick, the yard God is worrying about getting back to his yard. Geez. Ok, so I like my house clean too, but get real! we only live once! I keep telling him that at 46 and 52 we could well be over the halfway mark, let's have fun!we always have to allow a day before and a day after for him to get caught up. If he gets stressed then he gets grumpy and I have to get my claws out
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> I have been wanting for 2 years to learn to tow tt myself. Tried it last year, I had been talking about it for so long so Rick simply pulled over between Kahlotus and Washtucna, Wa. ( enroute to my dad's USFS campground in Idaho) and had me drive. OMG, I was freaked. I refused to drive beyond Colfax and haven't tried again. I keep threatening to find someone to give me towing lessons, but it has to be someone I am not married to! in addition, God forbid if I got a mark on his pickup....MEN!
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> I know lots of women drive the tv, but I just can't over the fact that I can't see the cars behind me and can't judge the space between them and me and how much width of the road I am taking up! I know, I am a sissy, probably need therapy huh?
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> HOWEVER! I WILL learn to tow, I will, I will, I will....I heard a lady recently who said she finally mastered it so she could go without HIM, but when she gets to destination she has to find some nice person to back it in and level it.
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> I know I will hear from Darlene on this one! go ahead girl! let me have it for being such a wussy! or as my nephews call it " sissy la la"
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Two things....

1. With a good set of towing mirrors, you can see what is behind you, and with a little practice you can judge the difference.

2. My mother dropped dead of a massive heart attact at age 62. She spent her entire life taking care of everyone else and not herself. ENJOY LIFE WHILE YOU CAN!!!!!!!!

Happy Outbacking!

Tim


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## Reverie

Life is too short to worry that your grass is too tall.

Reverie


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## Greatblu

Log onto www.half.com and search for the book... How to have sex in the woods... I think it will cost you about 3 bucks. He'll forget all about some silly yard and will be begging to go camping more often. Heck he might even move the home business into the trailer. Worth $3 for the try? Ain't it?

Signed, One Happy Camper, Joe


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## W4DRR

Reverie said:


> Life is too short to worry that your grass is too tall.
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> Reverie
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Amen to that!


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## Moosegut

Greatblu said:


> Log onto www.half.com and search for the book... How to have sex in the woods... I think it will cost you about 3 bucks. He'll forget all about some silly yard and will be begging to go camping more often. Heck he might even move the home business into the trailer. Worth $3 for the try? Ain't it?
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> Signed, One Happy Camper, Joe
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Hmmm. My youngest was conceived on a camping trip. I don't need no stinkin book.


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## tdvffjohn

It is very hard to change who someone is. Going camping should not be the stress creator, it should be what alleviates the stress from work or wherever.

The grass can be cut every other weekend, the yard work will always be there, even after we are gone. Time spent with your Family and especially the kids goes by very fast. I know. My two boys are 23 and 21 and divorce and finances and visitation schedules affected everything. We still camped as much as possible and they remember them all. My girls are 9 and 6 now and I am now a stay at home Dad, quite the opposite of before. The amount of time I spend with my girls now makes me realize how much I missed out on with my sons.

If someone says your yard just ain t what it used to be, just smile and say it was a great weekend away.

John


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## Theycallusthebreeze

I agree PG, that the set-up and take-down can be time-consuming to say the least. Just recently, an 'abandoned' shopping cart 'made it's way' to our house {







} and that has been a time-saver! I put all the food and duffel bags and stuff in it and cart it right on out to the trailer in ONE haul! When we get home, I throw all the food and dirty clothes right back into that cart and haul it into the house in ONE haul! It saves several trips as our trailer is kept out to the side of the house which is somewhat of a distance. The hook-up though is all the DH's!







As far as the lawn, we recently fenced in our back yard for 'the fox terrorist' so I cut it with the hand mower because of the fence. That frees DH up to only have to do the front on his 'riding' (Ah hum







) John Deere.







During the week to and from the mailbox, I pull a few weeds here and there. Case closed. But do we sleep good after getting home from a camping outing?? You betcha!







We're usually good and tired! I guess it's just like everything else in life, there's ALWAYS good with the bad. {Why does it have to be that way?? haha







} I see where your DH is coming from though. Sometimes it seems as if there isn't enough time for everything. And in all honesty, that _is _some heavy-duty camping for full-time workers. Maybe with time, you all will find some balance. Take care and keep us posted.


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## Morrowmd

It sounds like you may have some flexibility with your home based business. Try taking fewer trips for longer periods of time. Leave on Thur and return Mon, then take a few weeks off to get caught up on other stuff.

I know with me it takes a day or so to get work outta my mind and enjoy the great outdoors. A longer trip may get him to relax and enjoy camping more.

My $.02


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## mswalt

You didn't say how long you have been camping, or I missed it if you did. Is this a relatively new hobby? If so, the stress of getting everything just right when setting up camp and tearing it down can, for some, outweigh the fun and enjoyment of the acutal camping experience.

I'm just guessing, but, from my experience, few people work 24/7 and I'm assuming ya'll don't either. Yes, you put in losts of hours. Do do other people. Yes, the yard needs mowed. Yes, so does mine. Yes, the kids have a ballgame this weekend. So do my grandkids. And on and on and on. Those things are getting done now, correct?

So, a) where is the enjoyment?







What do you like to do? c) What does the hubby do for relaxation? d) What kinds of things do you *enjoy*? e) What "makes" your day?

If the answers are a) there isn't any,







not much, c) work, d) not much, and e) watch hubby work in the yard, then camping isn't for you.

I never camped before in my life until two years ago when we bought our first Outback. I'm 54. I didn't know what I was missing out on. I, too, work hard and the DW even harder. We *have* to go camping once in a while! If not, we'd go stark raving MAD!

If I remember your original post, this upcoming trip is like the 4th in 6 weeks. So, maybe the DH just needs some time off from camping. Going every weekend can be fun, for some, but a drag for others. An occasional trip now and then may be the answer for right now, not every weekend.

Don't make any rash decisions. Think things through first. Discuss them with each other.

AND, learn to tow yourself. My DW has never been behind the wheel with the TT. It's about time to teach her, too, I guess. There's no law that says you and the kids and a friend can't go without him. Think about it.....a girl's weekend, just a couple close friends to get away and chat; or fish, or lie around, to do whatever you want to do.

Life is too short to get caught up in any more rat races with work, work, work and then, more work.

Just my two cents, though. That and about a buck and a half more will get you a cup of coffee.

Mark


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## Theycallusthebreeze

HAHA, very true walt! I drove 1/2 way home from Indiana when we first bought our TT! I loved it. DH actually slept! {














} Now if I would have tried to back it in somewhere, I'm sure he would have woke up REAL FAST!







But I had no problem at all pulling it. I just made sure I had plenty of clearance before I changed lanes and most the time, the truck drivers would blink their lights to let me know I could get over.


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## nynethead

If you have a home based busines why can't you process some of the work while camping. Having remote access to your home systems is a piece of cake these days and you can do small tasks while the kids are sleeping at night or over morning coffee. This will get your next weeks schedule setup ahead of time and relieve the stress coming home on Sunday. I also schedule my lawn cutting in the evening during the week so I have my weekends off. Even if it takes two evenings I do not have this chore on the weekends.

Many vendors make wireless DSL modems for laptops and you get high speed internt access from just about amywhere. I have Verizon and when camping at the Jersey shore I get 2Mb access. I then remotely and securely access mail and files I need to work and then upload them back to the server when completed.

very secure and easy to setup.


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## PDX_Doug

pervish gang,

Obvoiusly, we don't all know your history, but from what I get out of this, getting away and camping is exactly what your DH needs! Stress can become a debilitating condition, and having an escape from that is essential.

We all need a break from the daily grind, and a way to recharge our batteries. In your DH's case, that may be doing yard work (I have never understood that, but my parents certainly shared the same addiction!). Camping can also be great therapy, and if your DH works from home, I would say an even better reliever than yard work, as it actually gets him away from the environment he lives in 24 hours a day.

BTW, I am not a doctor... I just play one on TV!









Happy Trails,
Doug


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## Moosegut

Theycallusthebreeze said:


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Uh, being from Tennessee, would that shopping cart be stored next to the 1968 pickup truck up on blocks or next to the abandoned school bus?









SORRY! Don't all you Southerners get in an uproar now. IT WAS A JOKE! REALLY!


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## California Jim

Too much of a good thing can get old. Sounds like you are going out too often, perhaps because you are new to it or the Outback. I know, alot of excitement at first. Still, I wouldn't want to camp more than twice in any given month. We all have lives and obligations outside of camping that need to be addressed.

After 2 1/2 years of camping, our happy medium is to go out about once a month, and spend a yearly total of 25-30 days camping. Of course we are in So. Cali which provides year-round camping and no "off season". If we lived in a winterized part of the world we might step up the frequency a bit to get the same number of nights out annually.

Give your hubby a break, he needs it


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## W4DRR

Moosegut said:


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Actually, I keep mine next to the old refrigerator and washing machine on the front porch.


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## Moosegut

W4DRR said:


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Just make sure you don't hit the hound dogs on the porch with it, right?







Ya see!? I knew some of you guys had a sense of humor.


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## PDX_Doug

California Jim said:


> We all have lives and obligations outside of camping that need to be addressed.


???


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## biga

W4DRR said:


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Is that the working frig, or one of the non working ones?


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## campmg

Not much more to add than what's already been said. Sounds like the two of you work hard. You need to relax and enjoy life and that's why we all bought our Outbacks. Get a landscaper even if just once a month to do the big work. Why you're at it, I think you deserve a maid too. Of course that's making an assumption that you take care of the inside while he's doing the outside. No stereotypes here.







I get away so I don't have to worry about the yard work and cleaning the pool.


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## W4DRR

biga said:


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It's a non-working one. Don't want the kids to get cold playing in it.


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## prevish gang

nynethead said:


> If you have a home based busines why can't you process some of the work while camping. Having remote access to your home systems is a piece of cake these days and you can do small tasks while the kids are sleeping at night or over morning coffee. This will get your next weeks schedule setup ahead of time and relieve the stress coming home on Sunday. I also schedule my lawn cutting in the evening during the week so I have my weekends off. Even if it takes two evenings I do not have this chore on the weekends.
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Our home based business is a catering business and we do professional lunches Mon-Fri. Our first trip was 7 miles down the road for a test run at the end of March. The second was two weeks later an hour away from Good Friday through Easter Monday. We worked Tues, Wed and Thurs and left Thurs evening for Washington DC less than 3 hours away. Stayed from Thurs pm until Sun am. I drove the TT home and did fine. I just need to learn to set it up. We went out first weekend in May to the races from Fri through Sunday. No other camping planned until Memorial Day and then the next one is the Luray Rally at the end of June. No other plans have been made at this point, but would love to go somewhere for July 4th week. The kids will be at camp and we could be alone! These two trips evidently have him freaked out for some reason. The boys are 13 and 17 and mow the yard. He just freaks out when stuff falls on the driveway, but he is not competitive with the neighbors. Most of them do nothing in their yards. He just always worries about things that haven't happened yet. I pack the clothes, I plan the menus and buy the food. All he has to do is hook up the TT and off we go. Once there he steadies it up, sets up the satellite dish and then the fun is on. It is just in coming home on Sun we have to purchase food for Monday's lunches and unpack. I do the cleanup. He just parks it in the yard. If I can just learn to hook up the hitch, jack the trailer level and dump the tanks I would be in business and he could stay home for some peace and quiet. Thanks for all the good advise. I am hiring a housekeeper to help me so I can have more fun since the kids help him


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## prevish gang

campmg said:


> Not much more to add than what's already been said. Sounds like the two of you work hard. You need to relax and enjoy life and that's why we all bought our Outbacks. Get a landscaper even if just once a month to do the big work. Why you're at it, I think you deserve a maid too. Of course that's making an assumption that you take care of the inside while he's doing the outside. No stereotypes here.
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Oh, just so you know, I did hire a guy to come out and spread 12 yards of mulch while we were camping in VA Beach.

The thing I LOVE about camping is that it is an escape from the house and all the duties that await me hourly. I don't have to listen to the phone ring, don't have to watch the kids mindlessly play videogames by the hour and can actually get the DH and kids to engage in some form of exercise cleaverly hidden by pretending it is a relaxing bike ride.







My husband is not up in his hobby room alone while the kids are alone in their rooms and I am alone in mine. It is together time. I have two older kids 25 and 22 who are already on their way and I really like being with the younger ones while they still want to be with me. I enjoy cooking for them (strange since I cook all the time for a living) in a kitchen not affiliated with WORK! I feel like I take better care of everyone when we are gone because I do not have the outside distractions of the house and all that needs to be done there.

I hope that we will find a happy medium and learn to appreciate life together. I am 46 and he is 38 and life is too d%&* short to waste it. I have watched too many friends find out they had cancer and then wish they had spent that valuable time with the ones they love. I don't want to have any regrets when my turn comes.


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## NDJollyMon

IF it becomes a chore...it's not fun anymore.

I would say...scale back on your trips, share all the workload equally...and try to make it fun. Because if it's not fun and relaxing...you won't want to do it.

I know exactly what you are going through. I have thought about throwing in the camping towel myself. It is stressful and hard work putting the whole thing together. It's all part of the game...just try to make the game fun and rewarding.

Jimmy Buffett said it best..."Moderation is the key."


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## Oregon_Camper

NDJollyMon said:


> Jimmy Buffett said it best..."Moderation is the key."
> [snapback]109730[/snapback]​


Ahhhh....Where would we be without the man.


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## PDX_Doug

Everything in excess! Moderation is for monks.









Happy Trails,
Doug


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## Theycallusthebreeze

[quote name='Moosegut' date='May 11 2006, 10:44 AM']
Uh, being from Tennessee, would that shopping cart be stored next to the 1968 pickup truck up on blocks or next to the abandoned school bus?









Hey, how did you know Moose?? You must have been down here to visit us at some point! LOL!


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## kjp1969

Sounds like your plates are pretty full- and you're trying to camp 4 times in 6 weeks? Back when I mowed our lawn, I enjoyed the relaxation of it. Your Husband is probably missing out on the relative "down time" of some good old fashioned brain free work. Remember, even if you're taking care of food an laundry, hitching up and pulling a trailer is pretty stressful stuff. And if you're constantly thinking of all the jobs you're not doing, its not much fun.

I'd ratchet everything down a couple of notches if I were you. The world won't come to an end if you cancel a camping trip or two, just like it won't end if the lawn grows a little longer. Why not just cancel everything for one weekend? No camping trip, no lawn work, no business, etc. Just sit around in your p.j.s until noon, watch tv, and schedule the rest of your day around a trip to get ice cream. If there's wind, take the family to the park and fly a kite, nothing more.

We do some version of this every once in a while- schedule a whole weekend (or even just a day) to do absolutely nothing but loaf around. Its harder than you think, but more relaxing than it sounds!

Kevin P.


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## campmg

Prevish Gang -- you said it all perfectly. Enjoy yourselves now. Your words are good advice for all of us.


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## CamperAndy

With the additional details I think you do have the right balance in the number of trips. SO you have done 3 trips really quickly, you only have 1 a month planned for the next 3 and one of those is a maybe. Tell the DH to take a chill pill, give him a short list of things to worry about (hooking up the trailer) and then tell him to relax.


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## prevish gang

CamperAndy said:


> With the additional details I think you do have the right balance in the number of trips. SO you have done 3 trips really quickly, you only have 1 a month planned for the next 3 and one of those is a maybe. Tell the DH to take a chill pill, give him a short list of things to worry about (hooking up the trailer) and then tell him to relax.
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Thanks for your words of support. I decide today that I am going down to the neighbors house that has a TT to ask him to show me how to hook it up, dump the tanks etc. The DH said today that he doesn't want to camp because he wants to race RC cars and work on his jeep. The others were right when they said that there was something else going on. I will let him do his hobbies and if I want to escape, me and the kids will branch out on our own. When he finds he is alone with his cars and that the rest of the family is out having a good time as a group, he will realize he is a pretty lonely guy and come around. I hired the housekeeper today, so I am on my way to a solution. Thanks to everyone for their supportive words.
Darlene


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## wercertifyable

Compromise is the key to making camping fun. Too much of a good thing, may cause him to not enjoy camping for what it can be.

Sit down with him and a calendar and mutually choose camping trips, encouraging him to utilize your camper, but accepting his need to detach from always being on the go.

This will make the ones you do take, much more fun. DW and I have limited our trips to 2 a month. Everyone needs a little down time.


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## BigBadBrain

Prevish gang,
Another thought - we enjoy a couple of week long trips each year rather than a bunch of shorter ones. Personally, I can only relax completely if I'm camping for 4 or more days. It takes a little time for me to divorce myself from my work activities and really start to enjoy the time with family fully. Short trips just don't make the grade.

Everyone is different.


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## Oregon_Camper

BigBadBrain said:


> Prevish gang,
> Another thought - we enjoy a couple of week long trips each year rather than a bunch of shorter ones. Personally, I can only relax completely if I'm camping for 4 or more days. It takes a little time for me to divorce myself from my work activities and really start to enjoy the time with family fully. Short trips just don't make the grade.
> 
> Everyone is different.
> [snapback]110033[/snapback]​


Good point BBB!!


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## PDX_Doug

Short or long... Nothing beats Outbacking!
Well...







shy

Happy Trails,
Doug


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## prevish gang

BigBadBrain said:


> Prevish gang,
> Another thought - we enjoy a couple of week long trips each year rather than a bunch of shorter ones. Personally, I can only relax completely if I'm camping for 4 or more days. It takes a little time for me to divorce myself from my work activities and really start to enjoy the time with family fully. Short trips just don't make the grade.
> 
> Everyone is different.
> [snapback]110033[/snapback]​


Yeah, you are right. The memorial day trip probably will be a Thurs- Mon trip and we are going to extend our Luray rally to at least Thurs- Sunday. I prefer not to travel on the busiest travel days just because we are still new to this whole thing and I don't want to ask for trouble when dealing with the idiots on the road. Most of the time though due to the self-employment we have to be careful about taking off days Mon-Fri. Self employed people don't get paid when they don't work because there is no paid vacation. No pay equals no money to play! We are working on solutions, but hearing all this helpful advise makes our options more numerous. Thanks.


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## mountainlady56

Hi, Darlene P!
Darlene H (sgalady) here. Learn how to do everything about the camper, so he won't feel the pressure to have to do that. You're already off to a great start, by TOWING.








Is there anyway you can purchase the food for Monday's catering on Thurs/Fri, so that won't have to be last minute? Can you suggest a lawn service, or is this his way of dealing with tension? Myself, until I developed asthma and became severely allergic to bee/wasp bites, I used to LOVE to do yard work, mowing, etc. It was MY time (I would sing at the top of my lungs on the mower and nobody could hear me, I could trim the shrubbery and let my oldest son who was very young, then help). Is it possible he just doesn't LIKE camping? It's not for everybody, but you obviously enjoy it. 
I do everything myself, because I don't have a mate, but then again, when I HAD one, I did everything, because he would wait forever to do it, if I didn't!
Just do what you want to, whatever works the best. Talk to him and ask him if he likes camping or not, and if not, what about it doesn't he like. 
I have a yard service that's very reasonable and does mowing, weedeating and blows off driveway/patio, etc. every week or every two weeks during season. That takes care of that!
Take care and good luck!
Darlene


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## prevish gang

sgalady said:


> Hi, Darlene P!
> Darlene H (sgalady) here. Learn how to do everything about the camper, so he won't feel the pressure to have to do that. You're already off to a great start, by TOWING.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Is there anyway you can purchase the food for Monday's catering on Thurs/Fri, so that won't have to be last minute? Can you suggest a lawn service, or is this his way of dealing with tension? Myself, until I developed asthma and became severely allergic to bee/wasp bites, I used to LOVE to do yard work, mowing, etc. It was MY time (I would sing at the top of my lungs on the mower and nobody could hear me, I could trim the shrubbery and let my oldest son who was very young, then help). Is it possible he just doesn't LIKE camping? It's not for everybody, but you obviously enjoy it.
> I do everything myself, because I don't have a mate, but then again, when I HAD one, I did everything, because he would wait forever to do it, if I didn't!
> Just do what you want to, whatever works the best. Talk to him and ask him if he likes camping or not, and if not, what about it doesn't he like.
> I have a yard service that's very reasonable and does mowing, weedeating and blows off driveway/patio, etc. every week or every two weeks during season. That takes care of that!
> Take care and good luck!
> Darlene
> [snapback]110159[/snapback]​


He does like camping and yes, I thought about purchasing the food prior to the trip. The only possible problem there is that if anyone else calls in to add to our day while we are away (Murphy's Law- it always seems to work out that way and who am I to complain since that means extra income) we would still have to go to Sam's to get the extra food anyway. The other thing about buying food early is that what about the freshness of the produce? We have always promised that the food will be purchased the day prior to the event and prepared fresh the day of the event. I think that the key might be to try to get up earlier than we have the day that we are pulling out so that we arrive home earlier and then I would handle the shopping so he could relax some and get prepared to get into the next week. Men just aren't as flexible as women because they don't have to be and they are more single minded while we are more the multitaskers. I have two teenagers who mow the grass, so the grass excuse seems more like an excuse. I recently found out that what really seems to be the issue is that he likes to race RC cars and he has a jeep that he wants to work on and play with. He won't have the time to play if he is gone, so that is why I said that if I pack up the boys and head out alone a few times and he sees us doing that and having fun together, while he is surrounded by an empty house that might just do the trick. He is just having his 38th BD this week so he has not yet reached the point where he will realize that half his life might be over. Give him a few more years and he will see these kids slipping away little by little and realize he has the rest of his life to play with his toys, but only about 5 more years with these boys. At 46 I see like a little differently. I am going to enjoy what I enjoy and allow him the same. When he wants to be with us, he is welcome. If we decide to do something and he wants to stay behind; we will see him when we get back. I am going to learn how to hook up myself and then I will be the superwoman that you are! Happy Mothers Day.
TOD (the other darlene)


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## gone campin

You can do it! 
Nothing to it!
Now that you have made up your mind it will be a piece of cake.
Setting up the Outback was easier that the other trailer we had. 
Go practice backing it up in a parking lot and practice setting it up. In now time at all you'll be giving advice to other women and encouraging them to learn how to tow and set-up.

As far as the DH goes, if he is having a birthday soon that could be part of his problem. Alot of people can't adjust to getting older, even thought it is part of life.

Me I am glad for each birthday. I turned 37 in the hospital recuperating from Lung surgery because I had Lung Cancer. So each birthday I have adds one more year that I beat the cancer! And each birthday is a celebration of life.

Linda


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## Highlander96

Just remember..........

There are many men out there that are true multi-taskers...........

That is all I am going to say about that.....

Now that I have gotten my wife and kids off to school and daycare, I must now make my way to DC.

Good luck!

Tim


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## prevish gang

Highlander96 said:


> Just remember..........
> 
> There are many men out there that are true multi-taskers...........
> 
> That is all I am going to say about that.....
> 
> Now that I have gotten my wife and kids off to school and daycare, I must now make my way to DC.
> 
> Good luck!
> 
> Tim
> [snapback]110374[/snapback]​


Highlander, 
This is an example of WHY you are a multi-tasker. You have learned to be and I salute you. Now I owe YOU a drink at the Luray rally.









Linda, 
Wow, what a story. I think when you have an experience like yours you gain a perspective that others can't understand until they have faced it. I almost lost a baby due to a strep infection and that along with having a 33 year old friend with stage 3 breast cancer turned my life around. Keep up the fight, girl!

Darlene


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## mountainlady56

gone campin said:


> Me I am glad for each birthday. I turned 37 in the hospital recuperating from Lung surgery because I had Lung Cancer. So each birthday I have adds one more year that I beat the cancer! And each birthday is a celebration of life.
> 
> Linda
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> [snapback]110365[/snapback]​


Congratulations on your cancer survival, Linda!! That's the attitude!!
HUGS!
Darlene


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## mountainlady56

[snapback]110159[/snapback]​[/quote]
I am going to learn how to hook up myself and then I will be the superwoman that you are! Happy Mothers Day.
TOD (the other darlene)
[snapback]110262[/snapback]​[/quote]
Hi, Darlene!
Don't be disheartened. I am FAR from a superwoman.......just ask anybody that was at the Southeast Spring Rally. I'm extremely overweight, disabled, etc., but when I set my mind to doing something I do it. Sounds like we're made of the same stuff, to be quite honest. You're a stubborn, independent woman, just like me, or you wouldn't have gotten as far in life as you have.......neither would I!
Like Linda said......the hooking up the camper thing is a breeze. Do it 3-4 times, by yourself, and you'll get a routine/rhythm to it. If you don't have an electric jack, treat yourself to one! That, alone saves alot on the back, shoulders, etc. (and my neck!), especially if you're in the broiling sun, it's a lifesaver.
As far as hubby, I think you're right.......he's just not as old/mature as we are, and, while he likes camping, he has other interests. Teach your kids to help you with the set-up/breakdown. No need for you to do it, alone. My youngest had assigned tasks, when we were able to go together, and he enjoyed it. His job was to, primarily, put the blocks/pads around near the stabilizer bars, giving his something to do while I was unhooking and also saving my back some work. He'd line them up JUST right.







Then, when I was hooking up, he had to crank up the stabilizer bars and put the pads in the storage area. 
Life's too short to stay at home and not enjoy what you want to do. Hook up, head 'em up and move 'em out!! You'll do fine!
HUGS!
Darlene


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## prevish gang

sgalady said:


> [snapback]110159[/snapback]​


I am going to learn how to hook up myself and then I will be the superwoman that you are! Happy Mothers Day.
TOD (the other darlene)
[snapback]110262[/snapback]​[/quote]
Hi, Darlene!
Don't be disheartened. I am FAR from a superwoman.......just ask anybody that was at the Southeast Spring Rally. I'm extremely overweight, disabled, etc., but when I set my mind to doing something I do it. Sounds like we're made of the same stuff, to be quite honest. You're a stubborn, independent woman, just like me, or you wouldn't have gotten as far in life as you have.......neither would I!
Like Linda said......the hooking up the camper thing is a breeze. Do it 3-4 times, by yourself, and you'll get a routine/rhythm to it. If you don't have an electric jack, treat yourself to one! That, alone saves alot on the back, shoulders, etc. (and my neck!), especially if you're in the broiling sun, it's a lifesaver.
As far as hubby, I think you're right.......he's just not as old/mature as we are, and, while he likes camping, he has other interests. Teach your kids to help you with the set-up/breakdown. No need for you to do it, alone. My youngest had assigned tasks, when we were able to go together, and he enjoyed it. His job was to, primarily, put the blocks/pads around near the stabilizer bars, giving his something to do while I was unhooking and also saving my back some work. He'd line them up JUST right.







Then, when I was hooking up, he had to crank up the stabilizer bars and put the pads in the storage area. 
Life's too short to stay at home and not enjoy what you want to do. Hook up, head 'em up and move 'em out!! You'll do fine!
HUGS!
Darlene
[snapback]111466[/snapback]​[/quote]

Darlene,
You know, we just HAVE to meet someday. I wish you could make it to the Luray Rally. I just know we would be dangerous if we got together and if you truly are overweight, I'll bet you give great squishy hugs. Nothing better than that. I'll let you know when I venture out for the maiden voyage. I am thinking it might be the first weekend in June for a girls retreat. Talk about dangerous







. I don't know if Virginia Beach would ever be the same.
TOD


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## Doxie-Doglover

you go girls! woo woo woo! I envy you Darlene, I'd give my eye teeth to be able to go it alone.Perhaps if it were a smaller tt and tv I 'd feel braver. To be honest, with all my arm surgeries, I have to be very careful, but I sure think about it often.Rick is still working and I have plenty of time to be somewhere.He will pull my trailer to N Idaho to my dad's USFS camp and park me as long as I want. After a while I miss civilization and tv and comfy things and come home. Then want to be gone again!!!

We are off early tomorrow morning to pick up trailer in Missoula.We are staying 3 days to play and figure it all out. I am hoping to find place with computer where I can check email. A day without the forum could cause convulsions! 
Tawnya


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## Theycallusthebreeze

sgalady {Darlene} wrote:
'Teach your kids to help you with the set-up/breakdown.'
I didn't need to teach my daughter to help me with the *breakdown*~~She taught me how to do that all on her own!!! HAHALOLHAHA!


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## PDX_Doug

Theycallusthebreeze said:


> I didn't need to teach my daughter to help me with the *breakdown*~~She taught me how to do that all on her own!!!


Ain't that the truth!









Happy Trails,
Doug


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## gone campin

The power jack will be a great treat for yourself. My DH got that put on the first trailer we bought right from jump street and I thank him for it everytime I push the button.

You can do it! After you do it a few times you'll ask yourself, "Self, why didn't you do this sooner?"

I leave next Thursday after work by myself to go to Lancaster, PA. I'll hook it up, pull it, find a spot, set it up and then enjoy it all by myself until everyone begins to arrive on Friday. Man I can't wait!

You can do it!!!

Linda


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## mountainlady56

[snapback]111466[/snapback]​[/quote]

Darlene,
You know, we just HAVE to meet someday. I wish you could make it to the Luray Rally. I just know we would be dangerous if we got together and if you truly are overweight, I'll bet you give great squishy hugs. Nothing better than that. I'll let you know when I venture out for the maiden voyage. I am thinking it might be the first weekend in June for a girls retreat. Talk about dangerous







. I don't know if Virginia Beach would ever be the same.
TOD
[snapback]111520[/snapback]​[/quote]

Hi, Darlene!
I would LOVE to go to Luray!! I've been there, before, back in 1978, and it was GORGEOUS in the caverns. However, due to the fact that it's almost EIGHT HUNDRED MILES, I don't think I'll be making it. Plus, I'll be at Topsail the week before that, and my cousin is going with me and really looking forward to it. I can't disappoint her. 
However, I'm like you........I really want to meet you. There aren't that many "Darlenes" to start with, and the fact that we're both named after the girl on the Mickey Mouse Show is just uncanny. My birthday's in June......when's yours? Of course, both mine and my brother's bd are in June........I always teased my parents that SOMETHING was going on in September!! hehehe. 
Dangerous?? You know it!!








HUGS!
Darlene action


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## RizFam

Hi Darlene,

I don't think I have anything else to add, I think all of the suggestion have been great. I just wanted you to know that I have been reading your thread & hoping that things will get better with time. We are new Outbackers as well, & any new venture takes time to get your routine down & mastered. We've taken 3 three trips so far & we are getting quicker & quicker each time. Learning everything is never a bad idea. I want to learn everything just in the event of an emergency & I needed to get us home. I could do it with confidence & safely.

I guess I just wanted you to know that I have been thinking of you & your family, & hoping he will come around & feel better about things.









Tami


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## nascarcamper

DW tows ours all the time but she wouldn't know where to begin to hook up. She also freaks a little in heavy traffic and trying to get to a diesel pump. All of our trips are long ones so we share in the driving duties and we usually schedule it where it's not so bad. Try it out and you may find the DH likes things a little better when you get to the campsite and he's not so tired. I admit I drive most of the time because I like to but DW feels good about letting me grab a quick nap and it builds her confidence in case something ever happpened to me on the road. My son knows how to hook up and all that set up stuff so I actually feel better knowing they could continue on without me. Don't let her know about Va. Beach. She could probably handle that on her own and it sounds like trouble to me.


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## prevish gang

Darlene,
Here's another freaky coincidence. My birthday is June 6, 1960, so I am a June baby too. Spooky







This year my BD is 06-06-06. I want to have a party this year cause I'll never live to see another BD like that. What day is yours?

Linda,
The DH thinks we don't need the power jack, but I think once we have it, he will love it, so I see a father's day gift in his future







Kind of kills two birds with one stone, huh?

Tami,
Things will be fine. The cleaning people started this week, I got my oldest son to do the grass today and we are finally going to have a relaxing weekend starting tomorrow. I took the dogs to the groomers yesterday to have them de-furred so that helps keep things cleaner here. Today was his BD and so I did all the right things; gifts, served him his favorite dinner in courses, cheesecake with fresh strawberries for dessert etc. Tomorrow I have invited all the friends over for a cookout so there will be plenty of fun and cold beverages as well as good conversation and laughter. That always releases tension. Saturday is our anniversary, so I have not made any plans for that day or Sunday. Those two days are for relaxation. Our next camping adventure is next weekend. He should be well-rested by then and since we will be away longer I am hopeful that we will have a great time. I may try my girls weekend after that. When we get ready to go I am going to tell him to let me do everything and he can just tell me what to do. After I do it once, I will be okay. We are figuring everything out. He just can't handle stress the way I can. If the stress kills me; oh well, I guess I'll get a nice long rest and he will get some peace and quiet









Nascar Camper,
You know I wouldn't let anything happen to the DW







Let her have a nice quiet getaway with the girls. (You might never see your camper again)

Thanks everybody. Who could believe how great everyone has been? You guys are better than family.

Darlene


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## mountainlady56

Hi, Darlene!
You better celebrate that BD, for sure!! My brother's BD is 6-14-53 and mine's 6-20-56. I always got upset, because his came first and my parent insisted on celebrating both of them together........course, big bully brother blew out the darn candles!!







One year, tho, I remember insisting that we have separate cakes and celebrate in the middle (the 17th) and have a party. Well, mom just outdid herself, that year, and my brother had a chocolate cake with cowboys on it, and I had a white cake with ballerinas on it. I was as much a ballerina as Elton John is a construction worker!! I was all tomboy from day one. Had to be!! Brother was constantly fighting with me, so what to do? FIGHT BACK!!
Glad you got things resolved and worked out with your hubby. Knew you would. You're that much like me!!







Take care and enjoy your anniversary weekend!!
HUGS!
Darlene


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## gone campin

prevish gang said:



> Linda,
> The DH thinks we don't need the power jack, but I think once we have it, he will love it, so I see a father's day gift in his future
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Â Kind of kills two birds with one stone, huh?
> 
> [snapback]111822[/snapback]​


Darlene,
GREAT IDEA!!! That is exactly what I would do. If there is something I want I buy it for DH as as BD, Father's Day, Xmas present etc. Sometimes, not all the time!

I hope you have several relaxing weekends! It sounds like you might.

Linda


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## PDX_Doug

gone campin said:


> If there is something I want I buy it for DH as as BD, Father's Day, Xmas present etc.


And yet, it never goes over well if we buy you a drill press or an arc welder as a Mother's day or birthday gift. What's up with that!









Happy Trails,
Doug


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## prevish gang

PDX_Doug said:


> gone campin said:
> 
> 
> 
> If there is something I want I buy it for DH as as BD, Father's Day, Xmas present etc.
> 
> 
> 
> And yet, it never goes over well if we buy you a drill press or an arc welder as a Mother's day or birthday gift. What's up with that!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Happy Trails,
> Doug
> [snapback]112591[/snapback]​
Click to expand...

It is because you special people are so uncomplicated and easy to please









You should see how well my new vibrating bedroom slippers went over for the anniversary on Saturday. Not a great day lets just say. If I was going to wish for something that vibrated, it wouldn't have been slippers






















Just a tip for you guys. Anniversaries are about saying that you would make the same committment all over again and so devote that day to spending time together. A picnic lunch, a special dinner, a weekend or night away depending upon what you can afford. The biggest part of the gift should be time together. Hope this helps.

DH now has a Ultra Fab tongue jack which he doesn't understand why he needs it. I said that I wanted to make the set ups easier for us both so it won't be all on him to get it done. Hope he likes it. I know I will.


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## PDX_Doug

prevish gang said:


> If I was going to wish for something that vibrated, it wouldn't have been slippers


So many pithy comebacks... so little time!









Happy Trails,
Doug


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## Highlander96

I am not touching this one!!!!!!!!!!!! Not with a 10' pole or anything else.

Happy Outbacking!

Tim


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## gone campin

PDX_Doug said:


> gone campin said:
> 
> 
> 
> If there is something I want I buy it for DH as as BD, Father's Day, Xmas present etc.
> 
> 
> 
> And yet, it never goes over well if we buy you a drill press or an arc welder as a Mother's day or birthday gift. What's up with that!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Happy Trails,
> Doug
> [snapback]112591[/snapback]​
Click to expand...

Doug,
I got a router and a sander once for a present from DH. I didn't have a problem with it. We both used them. Acutally he used them to make the projects I wanted made.

Linda


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## gone campin

prevish gang said:


> PDX_Doug said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> gone campin said:
> 
> 
> 
> If there is something I want I buy it for DH as as BD, Father's Day, Xmas present etc.
> 
> 
> 
> And yet, it never goes over well if we buy you a drill press or an arc welder as a Mother's day or birthday gift. What's up with that!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Happy Trails,
> Doug
> [snapback]112591[/snapback]​
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> If I was going to wish for something that vibrated, it wouldn't have been slippers
Click to expand...

LOL!!! Oh my, Darlene, that was and is hysterical. I cannot stop laughing.

[/quote]
DH now has a Ultra Fab tongue jack which he doesn't understand why he needs it. I said that I wanted to make the set ups easier for us both so it won't be all on him to get it done. Hope he likes it. I know I will.








[snapback]112832[/snapback]​[/quote]

The DH will like it when he can make it go up and down so easily! He will be thanking you in no time at all. If not you can thank yourself when you get to use it!

Linda


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## prevish gang

gone campin said:


> PDX_Doug said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> gone campin said:
> 
> 
> 
> If there is something I want I buy it for DH as as BD, Father's Day, Xmas present etc.
> 
> 
> 
> And yet, it never goes over well if we buy you a drill press or an arc welder as a Mother's day or birthday gift. What's up with that!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Happy Trails,
> Doug
> [snapback]112591[/snapback]​
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Doug,
> I got a router and a sander once for a present from DH. I didn't have a problem with it. We both used them. Acutally he used them to make the projects I wanted made.
> 
> Linda
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> [snapback]113309[/snapback]​
Click to expand...

What a woman! You go, girl!


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## nascarcamper

Prevish there's something in those shoes that make them vibrate. I'm thinking he has you in training for mods.


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## prevish gang

nascarcamper said:


> Prevish there's something in those shoes that make them vibrate. I'm thinking he has you in training for mods.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> [snapback]113471[/snapback]​


Maybeee!


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## mountainlady56

Well, Darlene,
If you don't like the vibrating bedroom slippers, and he doesn't "get" what he's gonna do with the electric jack, just swap out gifts!!








Darlene action


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## gone campin

sgalady said:


> Well, Darlene,
> If you don't like the vibrating bedroom slippers, and he doesn't "get" what he's gonna do with the electric jack, just swap out gifts!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Darlene action
> [snapback]115634[/snapback]​


Great Solution Darlene!


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## prevish gang

gone campin said:


> sgalady said:
> 
> 
> 
> Well, Darlene,
> If you don't like the vibrating bedroom slippers, and he doesn't "get" what he's gonna do with the electric jack, just swap out gifts!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Darlene action
> [snapback]115634[/snapback]​
> 
> 
> 
> Great Solution Darlene!
> [snapback]115648[/snapback]​
Click to expand...

Good idea, however the jack made it in time for last weeks trip and he likes it. Don't think I could talk him into the slippers. Maybe I can mod them for extra power and then they could come in handy!


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## gone campin

prevish gang said:


> gone campin said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> sgalady said:
> 
> 
> 
> Well, Darlene,
> Â Â If you don't like the vibrating bedroom slippers, and he doesn't "get" what he's gonna do with the electric jack, just swap out gifts!!Â
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Darlene action
> [snapback]115634[/snapback]​
> 
> 
> 
> Great Solution Darlene!
> [snapback]115648[/snapback]​
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Good idea, however the jack made it in time for last weeks trip and he likes it. Don't think I could talk him into the slippers. Maybe I can mod them for extra power and then they could come in handy!
> [snapback]115651[/snapback]​
Click to expand...

Well now Darlene, let's think about this.....if he likes the jack there is only one way to use the jack......He must go camping in order to use it.....


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## PDX_Doug

Sounds to me like a job for Tim Allen.
MORE POWER! *Grunt*

Happy Trails,
Doug


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## prevish gang

gone campin said:


> prevish gang said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> gone campin said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> sgalady said:
> 
> 
> 
> Well, Darlene,
> If you don't like the vibrating bedroom slippers, and he doesn't "get" what he's gonna do with the electric jack, just swap out gifts!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Darlene action
> [snapback]115634[/snapback]​
> 
> 
> 
> Great Solution Darlene!
> [snapback]115648[/snapback]​
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Good idea, however the jack made it in time for last weeks trip and he likes it. Don't think I could talk him into the slippers. Maybe I can mod them for extra power and then they could come in handy!
> [snapback]115651[/snapback]​
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Well now Darlene, let's think about this.....if he likes the jack there is only one way to use the jack......He must go camping in order to use it.....
> [snapback]115703[/snapback]​
Click to expand...

That's what I'M talking about!!! See we are some smart human beings. He has already agreed to another trip for the 4th!

Doug, 
ARG, ARG, ARG!


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## gone campin

prevish gang said:


> gone campin said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> prevish gang said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> gone campin said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> sgalady said:
> 
> 
> 
> Well, Darlene,
> Â If you don't like the vibrating bedroom slippers, and he doesn't "get" what he's gonna do with the electric jack, just swap out gifts!!Â
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Darlene action
> [snapback]115634[/snapback]​
> 
> 
> 
> Great Solution Darlene!
> [snapback]115648[/snapback]​
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Good idea, however the jack made it in time for last weeks trip and he likes it. Don't think I could talk him into the slippers. Maybe I can mod them for extra power and then they could come in handy!
> [snapback]115651[/snapback]​
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Well now Darlene, let's think about this.....if he likes the jack there is only one way to use the jack......He must go camping in order to use it.....
> [snapback]115703[/snapback]​
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> That's what I'M talking about!!! See we are some smart human beings. He has already agreed to another trip for the 4th!
> 
> Doug,
> ARG, ARG, ARG!
> [snapback]115711[/snapback]​
Click to expand...

You just know women were behind it all...as usual!!!

And to think we don't know a darn thing!

Linda


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