# Towing All By Myself



## KristiC0776 (Mar 2, 2005)

DH told me the outback was done at the dealers (warranty repairs) and he wanted me to go get it. So, I get the hitch on (that sucker is heavy!) grab my neighbor friend (female)to help guide me to the trailer and go to pick it up. I get backed up fine and we are hitching up when a man hitching up his own trailer comes over to us and asks if he can help (mind you, we were doing just fine, not struggling or anything). He says that we shouldn't be doing this alone, because we might forget to do something and end up hurting someone with our trailer.







I told him we were fine, but I was incredibly mad.

For you ladies..have you hooked up and pulled the trailer by yourself at all and how comfortable do you feel?

For you guys...do you ever have your wives hook up? (now I know this mignt cause a huge debate, but that is not my intent)

Thanks for some input.


----------



## tdvffjohn (Mar 10, 2005)

For me if a woman can drive it I certainly think she can handle the hook up. My wife actually trusts me to cook. I have seen some real good female truck drivers and some real bad men drivers Did not know camping smarts were gender divided. 
My wife has never hooked up the camper but I did show her, ya never know if you get hurt. I do have a policy before we leave and at every stop we BOTH do a walkaround to check for anything missed. I am not perfect by any means.
Chalk him up for exactly what you already thought.


----------



## camping479 (Aug 27, 2003)

My wife does half the driving. She hasn't hooked up yet but she's helped me enough times that if she had to, she could do it.

I think maybe he was just trying to be nice It's not very often you see a woman hooking up and driving a truck/trailer. Sounds like he could have been a little more tactful with his words though.

Mike


----------



## Castle Rock Outbackers (Jan 18, 2004)

Wife and I are 55% (me) 45% (her) when hitching up.

1. I back, she guides.
2. She lowers trailer onto hitch, gives me thumbs up.
3. I lock the ball in place, raise the camper.
4. We both install the w/d bars on our respective sides (leave 4 links hangin'!)
5. I hookup the "oh crap" chains and connect the umbilical cord.
6. I take one last look at everything to be sure all is in order (pins in place).

If I saw two ladies hitching up a trailer, I would not assume they are clueless and intervene.

Randy


----------



## vdub (Jun 19, 2004)

I back up, she guides, and both of us double check the checklist and do a tug test before pulling out. So far she has left it up to me to grease the rails on the superglide, but, last time, while I was greasing things, she was putting air in the tires.

One thing I hate is "help" with either hooking up, backing up, or unhooking. DW and I can handle it just fine without additional help, thank you. Now, after all that is complete, I don't mind getting some advice for future reference, but just don't bother me during the process.


----------



## bmx-mom (Mar 23, 2005)

Hi,

I have not driven the camper in tow, yet. We have only taken short drives so far. As far as helping - I help back up or pull forward (what ever is needed) and I have helped with the hook up. It is really kind of a family affair. My 11 year old son loves to help. My DH has even let him pull up the truck a few feet foward(at home only).

Anne


----------



## mjs518 (Oct 24, 2004)

I have the same routine as Castle Rock to a tee!!! Both of us try to be up to speed on all the goings on. Equal rights for all








P.S. I change diapers too








JOE


----------



## NDJollyMon (Aug 22, 2003)

My wife does not drive with the trailer, nor hook up, or set up. These things are fun, and I won't allow her to do it. (just kiddin'!) She doesn't want to do them, and I don't make her!

Secondly, I am happy to hear someone steps up to offer help. That guy obviously had the wrong idea about you...and women in general.

I'm all for Chivalry...I open doors for women, help them with their coats, pull out chairs, etc. Always have, out of respect. That's the way I was raised. I understand women are capable of doing it for themselves, and respect it if they choose to.

I work in a mostly MALE profession, and have no problem fighting fire along side of a female who is capable. 
Long story short...you have a right to be mad.


----------



## Drifter (Aug 22, 2004)

"He says that we shouldn't be doing this alone, because we might forget to do something and end up hurting someone with our trailer. "

I think he forgot something - Tact and respect. An offer to help is one thing. But some people are right proud of what they can do (and rightly so) and some are sensitive about their capabilities. Maybe he was sincerely just offering his help but he shouldn't be judging what some one else can or cannot do on their own.

drifter


----------



## Thor (Apr 7, 2004)

Between my DW and I, we are about 75% me 25% my DW.

My wife has has no issues backing-up, hooking up or towing. The only thing she does not like doing is the dumping or the W/D Bars.

Thor


----------



## dougdogs (Jul 31, 2004)

Haven't been out with the 5th wheel yet, but, we sold our 21' Wellcraft cuddy (and loadrite trailer) to afford the new Outback.

With the boat and trailer, my wife insisted on knowing everything about winching the boat out of the water, trailer hookups, and towing just incase something was to happen to me while we were "on the road" with the boat in tow.

It was good peace of mind for me to know that she understood the way everything worked.


----------



## Reverie (Aug 9, 2004)

I think Drifter hit the nail on the head. If I saw two ladies hooking up I would feel compelled to tactfully offer my help. For the same reason I always stop and help woman broken down on the side of the road. I wouldn't make a crass comment like this guy did. I'm pretty sure his heart was in the right place but his words were way out of whack.

My wife is an Engineer at Lockheed where she has worked side by side with the male engineers for over 21 years. She is very comfortable doing what she knows how to do and wise enough to admit when she doesn't. It is always acceptable to offer to help someone (male or female) but never to intrude if your assistance is not required.

If you saw somthing you knew to be dangerous you would have to find a way to communicate it with tact. If someone (once again male or female) were making a mistake, particularly a dangeours one, you would be honor-bound to say something. If they persist on with the mistake you need to mosey on and make sure they aren't coming up behind you.

I ALWAYS appreciate offers of help, particularly while hooking up or backing. I have done both alone and I am here to testify, it aint fun.

My wife has told me repeatedly she has no interest in towing. I keep asking her to at least learn the essentials. Last year (I think on this web site) I read about some guy going into the hospital while on a trip and his wife was absolutely clueless about how to proceed. That has to be really scarey. I'm going to continue to ask my wife to get a little wheel time and participate in the setup and breakdown process.

Reverie


----------



## campntn (Feb 20, 2005)

I am a registered nurse, a MALE registered nurse. In a predominatly female workplace (although the area I work in is probably 50% male). Simply stated, there is no one answer to that question. We should all be encouraged that someone offered help, but she has every right to be offfended at his words. If a male doesn't do what comes natural, or should come natural, and offer help to a lady who might need him, he has guilt. There is always the risk that if he does offer help, she feels belittled. Now, that being said, the man should learn tact and address such as a gentleman and not a leader. Telling her that she "shouldn't" be doin that was condescending and efforts to show power. He would do good without the lecture. 
Oh, as of yet, she helps me with the walk around/lite check. She quides me back*although I did it alone last nite, helps with the chains/lites hookup. She hasn't towed yet, but it's not cause I don't think she can.

In today's busy,skeptical and assuming world, it's a wonderful thing that a person stopped and took the time to ask if someone, male OR female, needed help. That's the way I'd look at it..








Mark


----------



## cowart66 (Mar 8, 2005)

My wife never drives with the TT, but it is not a sexist thing. She's just not comfortable driving something that size. She does not even like to drive the truck without a trailer. If she wanted to practice and learn she could and would.


----------



## Castle Rock Outbackers (Jan 18, 2004)

Thor said:


> The only thing she does not like doing is the dumping or the W/D Bars.
> 
> Thor
> [snapback]30318[/snapback]​


Oh yeah...dumping is a completely different story. That's 90% me, 10% DW. She adds the chemicals and a gallon or water to black and gray after I have done everything else. She will not do the dumping work. That's ok.









Randy


----------



## tdvffjohn (Mar 10, 2005)

Oh yeah, dumping. Thats a subject she never asked if she could do instead of me. I think I ll ask her







I wonder what that answer will be. Duck


----------



## KristiC0776 (Mar 2, 2005)

Thanks you guys (and gals) for all the input. Now that i'm not feeling so upset about it, I can look at it a little differently. Yes, It was nice to know that the help was there if needed. I am not into Women's lib or anything like that, but when I feel comfortable doing what i'm doing and I'm approached the way I was, it's a little hard to swallow. Everyone gave me such great perspectives and i'm glad to know that there are some gentlemen out there willing to offer a helping hand to anyone in need. This board is great and thank you so much for helping me see that he may just need a little lesson on TACT.

DH wanted to know what I said to him, but in all honesty I was so stunned (and so was my friend) at his remarks that we were speachless. I wish now that I had the comebacks that DH and I thought a little about last night, after I told him about what had happened.

I am just proud of myself in doing what I did. When we first bought the trailer I was adament about never towing the thing. I was scared of it actually, but DH got me behind the wheel for some small test drives and I found it not to be so bad. I just hate the sound the the hitch (moaning and groaning).


----------



## mswalt (Sep 14, 2004)

Kristi,

Yeah, my wife's tired of my hitch moaning and groaning, too.!









Mark


----------



## missouricamper (Jun 28, 2004)

I hook up the trailer all by myself quite often - in fact I have taken it out by myself for the weekend when no one else could go. (I do hate backing up into a blind where I have to keep running back and looking) Because I normally get off work earlier, I have everything ready to roll when DH gets home. If I could pick only one person to help me set up, it would be my 16 yo daughter, because we have a system.... she does all the inside stuff and I do all the outside stuff. When Hubby and/or son go along, something is always forgotten - we each think the other person did it. And, we fight to do the fun stuff (like back up). He does NOT fight to do the dumping - I ALWAYS get stuck with that.

But the real point of your question is what do we do with these men that think we are incompetent just because we are women.... I say leave their butts behind and go camping!!!


----------



## Roloaddict (Oct 29, 2004)

I have no desire to hook up or drive, but I know how. DH and I walked through the entire process and I took detailed notes for two reasons: 1) to double check the hook up and 2) emergencies. Hopefully, I will never need to use them for #2.

We decided a long time ago that we should do the things we enjoy doing and the things neither of us enjoy doing - I do







(kidding)







We seperated the duties: I do inside, he does outside.

To all you non-hook-er-uppers: Knowledge is power. Keep it safe out there!

H.


----------



## jallen58 (Oct 27, 2003)

My wife could hurt herself with a screwdriver (Not A Bad thing







) And thats fine with me. We have an agreement She takes care of the inside and I the outside with this arrangment everything is fine. If i saw two women hitchen i would offer help and leave it at that.

Jim


----------



## HootBob (Apr 26, 2004)

I do all the driving
That not to say the wife wouldn't drive with the TT
She's just not interested in doing so right now.
She has her own things to do (Map, Second set of eyes,Inside TT) 
As I have mine own things (Everything else)
It's nice to offer help to anyone
But if they don't need it that fine.
It's the offer that counts.
Don


----------



## summergames84 (Mar 6, 2004)

On short, weekend trips, DH does the hitching, with me guiding and then we both do the walkabout checking things inside and out. On long trips, I probably do 40% of the driving. I could do the entire hitching process if I had too, but I don't have too! Plus, I'm a terrible backer.

As stated above, the offer of help was noble, the way he went about it wasn't. He probably saw nothing wrong with what he did.


----------



## missouricamper (Jun 28, 2004)

for all you guys that said you would offer help if you saw a women (or two women) hitching up the trailer.... how would you feel if a women came over to offer you help hitching up your rig?

I'm not a women's libber, I was just thinking how funny that would be... I'd just swagger over and say "y'all need any help here?".... My husband would say something like "yeah, can you get me a beer?"


----------



## Drifter (Aug 22, 2004)

If it was something I didn't know or was having trouble with (backing). I would (and have) said "Thanks". Camping is like any other thing in life. There are times when I could use a little help and I'm not to particular where that help comes from.

Drifter


----------



## Reverie (Aug 9, 2004)

Wow, Drifter. I think you it exactly right again. Hey, I'm the first to admit I don't know everything. As for hitching, I would LOVE a second set of eyes. I hitched last night and because I couldn't get a second set of eyes I wound up getting a tug and pulling the trailer out and putting it somewhere I could work with it without being in danger of bumping into someone else's rig.

On a side note all of our trailers are parked at an angle. The guy to my right keeps parking his trailer as far out as it will go. This makes it virtually impossible to pull it out without using the tug. He could back it up farther into his slot like the rest of us do and be kinder to the us.

Reverie

PS: Besides, I really like chicks...


----------



## NDJollyMon (Aug 22, 2003)

missouricamper said:


> for all you guys that said you would offer help if you saw a women (or two women) hitching up the trailer.... how would you feel if a women came over to offer you help hitching up your rig?[snapback]30449[/snapback]​


That depends on what she's wearin'!









Men are pigs. Ok...maybe it's just me.


----------



## hatcityhosehauler (Feb 13, 2004)

No. No, you're absolutely right Pete....we are pigs.









Tim


----------



## tdvffjohn (Mar 10, 2005)

My wife calls me that once in a while and says not all men are like that!
I tell her they are but some of us will admit to it


----------



## mswalt (Sep 14, 2004)

Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh..........(my best Tim, the tool man, Taylor impersonation)









Mark


----------



## Madden6 (Oct 17, 2004)

Ok can I join in here! Last year I had no choice but to tow our camper. (Granted it wasn't our new Outback, it was a 15ft hybrid) But my DH had broken his ankle inearly June and would be on crutches for 8 weeks. "WHat do you mean we can't go camping!!"" I did not take that for an answer so I learned how to tow very quickly. My DD's ages 5 and 4 have learned to help me backing up to hook up the camper!
Anyway, as long as you take it slow and steady, it not an issue of who can do it better. BTW, I did get to tow the Outback for the last hour of our trip the last time out. I am the one who bought the camper anyway!!


----------

