# Depression After Purchase



## caleb22 (Jun 13, 2005)

I'm exploring the notion of selling our new 2006 26RKS OB. We have used it 3 times since August of 2005.

I'm exploring this option because we have a 3 year old who has partnered with Satan. I believe I have actually seen his eyes glow red once. We also may possibly have a little one on the way but that hasn't been confirmed yet.

Having to take a 3 year old kicking and screaming out of Wal-Mart while everyone thinks you're kidnapping him is not my cup of tea. We have a trip planned for Disney in Jan with the OB but it's on my to-do list this week to cancel it. We can't get his temper or demeanor in check. It's like a switch flipped a few months ago and he joined the dark side. A trip 600 miles away in the OB is just not in the cards with his behavior.

We can't enjoy the OB...we're depressed. Am I alone?


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## mswalt (Sep 14, 2004)

caleb22,

Don't make *any* rash decisions. I'm not sure just how long this "condition" has been going on, but my suggestion would be to first get him to your doctor for an evaluation and/or referral to a pediatrician.

A certain amount of temper trantrums can be expected from a three-year old, or any "other-year old" but not if it's been going on for an extended period of time with few breaks.

I know you feel guilty about being depressed, and probably a little worried that it's somehow your fault that he's uncontrollable, but don't be. Let someone who knows what they're doing evaluate him to rule out a medical problem. Once that's been established, you can better deal with it.

Even if it's not medical, you will then be in a better position to handle it appropriately.

But don't cut your losses and run (on the vacation or the Outback) until you know for sure that neither can work out at this time.

Childhood is a wonderful thing. But understanding it makes it even more wonderful.

Good luck and I wish the best for you.

Mark


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## PDX_Doug (Nov 16, 2004)

caleb22,

Don't give up on the Outback! Give the little devil a couple of years, and camping with Dad is going to be the greatest thing in the world to 'Lil Lucifer.

It sounds to me like you were simply blessed with a reprieve on 'The Terrible Twos', but they were bound to catch up to you eventually. Hang in there man, the ride has just begun!









Happy Trails,
Doug


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## CamperAndy (Aug 26, 2004)

Mine was my third child. A girl that at 2 1/2 decided that to solve any problem required that she howl like a demon and roll on the ground like someone had just broken her leg.

It took almost 1 1/2 years but she turned to corner and now she is my little angle (most of the time). She is 11 and now her terrible two to four is just a funny memory.

Hang in there and if it does seem to over whelm then see a professional for you and for your little Damion.


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## glennsteers (Apr 25, 2005)

Caleb22,

Is he your 1st child? If so, sometimes new parents need help with "strategerie" in raising a young one. James Dobson has a time-tested book called "Raising a Strong-willed Child" that has been around for decades and has recently been updated. Check it out!


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## Reverie (Aug 9, 2004)

With our children we didn't experience the terrible twos, we had the thrilling threes and unforgetable fours. Our boy just about made us question or religion. While there was never a magic switch that changed his personality into something less obnoxious, he has grown into a much more behaved five year old. He still has his moments but they are fewer and farther between. He loves camping and would go every weekend if we gave him the choice.

Reverie


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## NDJollyMon (Aug 22, 2003)

Behavior changes through the ages in cycles.

Trust me...it'll get better. And if it don't, there's always medication! 

The OUTBACK is a purchase many make for the long term. It'll still be around when you are ready to venture out more often.

I have thought many times about trading off the OUTBACK. Our schedule and the short season up here limit our outings each year. Add to that the fact my kids are now grown, and left the nest. Camping is totally different now. So far, no plans to scrap the precious times we do make it out.


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## mskyoutback (Jul 27, 2004)

Wow! Sounds like you have my son! From birth until 1 week before my son's 3rd birthday (yes, I remember it to the day!) my youngest slept 12-14 hours and night and took 3-5 hour naps EVERY DAY! It was great. He came and told me he was ready for bed. Then that one horrible day, he told me he didn't need a nap anymore and he's been a real challenge ever since. He is now 9. He does still sleep all night, but is a real handful during the day. I have carried him out of more than one store in his life, surprised that I'm never followed by security. I found that the solution is to avoid stores and that type of situation as much as possible. That's why kids (usually) have 2 parents! One to stay home with the kids and one to go shopping. 
We have also been wanting to go to Disney, but we aren't quite ready financially and don't want to risk the possibility of the trip being spoiled by numerous tantrums. We went to St. Louis this summer and came close to not going to 6 Flags. We camped close enough that we finally told him that we would just take turns with our older son and staying at the camper with him. He finally straightened up and we had a great time. 
I resisted buying a camper for the same reason you are contemplating selling, but decided that we would just have to adapt. If there's going to be a tantrum, it's going to happen at home or while camping. We would just be creating memories for our kids instead of staying home hiding from his temper. Now, he loves camping. Yes, there are "those times" but I'm glad we're going places instead of letting his temper hold us captive!


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## Beerman (Nov 14, 2005)

I too recomend "raising a strong willed child", it was an excellent read that helped my wife and I understand why my boy was behaving like he was. He is three and has never slept in his own bed for the whole night, can't sit still for more than two minutes. We learned to eat real fast. Keeping them busy playing sports is the key.


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## DANJOGAVINMO (Apr 17, 2004)

My son was the textbook angel from birth until 1.5yrs old. Then we decided to build a new house, we had to live in an apartment for 3 months inbetween. The first day in the apartment he snapped, tantrums every night, totally unreasonable, etc. When we got into the new house, they were gone within a couple of days. We did as others suggested and saw the doctors, etc. No real good suggestions other than to try to give him some space that was his only. (kids were sharing a bedroom).

Good luck, and keep your chin up, you'll probably look back in a year and it will seem different!


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## vdub (Jun 19, 2004)

Seems that our kids were the most wild at age 3. Didn't have any terrible two's thing at all as I recall. DW might correct me, tho.


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## tdvffjohn (Mar 10, 2005)

Ditto Vdub, no terrible twos, thought we got away with it until the terrible three s came along.

Patience, it will pass


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## glennsteers (Apr 25, 2005)

Hmm, interesting...

Is there such a thing as the terrible threes?


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## johnp (Mar 15, 2004)

Don't give up on the Outback just yet . Just reach for the duct tape







.The







comes and goes.

The Walmart screaming was that Saturday in RI.







I think I heard kid

John


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## 7heaven (Jun 4, 2005)

caleb22,

Hang in there! Each child is unique, but one thing that we found that worked on tantrums was isolation. I would escort (or carry) the little







to their room and explain that he could do that in his room but we weren't going to share his unpleasant behavior. A tantrum isn't much fun if there is no audience. Don't argue with him or try to convince him to calm down. There are great books by Dobson and others that will help you navigate this tough time. Next time you have him in for a check-up (or winter cold







), ask the doc if there could be something else bothering him.

Please don't sell the Outback because of this. I know a few times when we tent or pop-up camped, I thought someone might call the park ranger and report a murder in progress, but we survived. You will too!


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## Crawfish (Sep 14, 2005)

I agree with mswalt. I think it is a good idea to have a doctor check him out. If the doc does not find anything wrong with him thats good for your son. At least you will know there is nothing wrong medically.

"*Let's Go Camping*"

Crawfish


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## nascarcamper (Jan 27, 2005)

Just my two cents but we waited on Disney till the youngest kid was ten. After seeing what other parents were going through with the strollers and all I stand firm by our decision. I'm sure they would have had more fun at the Majic Kingdom but they made up for it at the other parks. We went through problem spells with both our kids when they were real young. Hang in there. It's all downhill now until they become teenagers then it starts again. Something for you to look forward too.


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## HootBob (Apr 26, 2004)

My young lad is 9 and he still going through that stage
No Just kidding the 3's are the worst
You could have him check but our three kids went through that stage around the 3's
I would hold off with the Outback till you try everything else.

Don


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## MJRey (Jan 21, 2005)

I echo what the others have said about the threes being the worst. None of our three kids (2 girls, 1 boy) were much trouble when they were two but three was quite the challenge for all of them. Just be patient and firm and you too will survive. As for DisneyWorld you may want to postpone it until the kids are older. We just went in June and the kids were 9, 7, and 4. It was a good trip but I don't think it would have been much fun if we had to deal with strollers, diapers, baby food, etc. There were a few times when I had to carry our youngest but for the most part they got around on their own. I think they enjoyed the pool at the hotel (Wilderness Lodge) better than anything else. I wouldn't make any rash decisions on the Outback just yet.

Take Care,


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## ee4308 (Aug 23, 2005)

I never had that problem with 3 daughters and one son. However, can't say that much for a grandson.







He just turned 3 last week and the last year or so has really been something else!







They have done the Wal-Mart and eating out thing with him (a time or two) before he whipped them down.







I think if my Dad was still with us, he could work wonders for him. I KNOW Dad never had that problem with my two brothers and myself when we were kids!


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## drobe5150 (Jan 21, 2005)

how about..... jo frost aka SUPERNANNY









darrel


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## CJ999 (Aug 11, 2005)

I've been a police officer for fifteen years and I have been to maybe a thousand domestic diputes involving a parent and a child (usually teenaged). I have never had a parent who needed help from the police to control their child tell me either of these two things:

1) I bought a book written by James Dobson and I have employed his suggestions ever since reading it.

2) We spend a lot of time camping together.

Maybe this is just a coincidence, but just to be on the safe side, I'm keeping my Outback and all the Dobson books I bought!

I also recommend a book called "Healthy Sleep, Happy Baby". It REALLY helped us. It's not just about babies. It helped me recognize signs of over-tiredness in myself too!


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## Moosegut (Sep 24, 2005)

I swear by all books Dobson. My wife and I, both teachers, are . . . shall we say . . . parents of a bit more advanced age than most of our friends with children (we're 50 & 51 - our kids are 15 & 12). We had quite a few years to ourselves before we had the kids. When we would see the Wal-Mart rampage we would comment to each other, "Can't they control that little brat?" or something to that effect. That is until . . .









Well, I'm sure you get the picture - these two great teachers, who had TOTAL control in the classroom, started raising two strong-willed boys and the rest . . . is history.







You'll get through it. My little guy was the worst and now he and I are the greatest of camping buddies. Don't worry about the onlookers at Wal-Mart, or anywhere else, they have no clue.

Camping has been a part of my kids' lives since they were weeks old. We camp many, many times each year and we all love it. You will too, especially in the Outback - so hold off on selling it. Looking back, while three was a very tough age for us with both my boys, it was also the age I wish I could freeze them at. They can communicate effectively, everything is a wonderment, they say the darndest things - Hey! I should coin that phrase!









This too shall pass. Go camping in a secluded spot. If the kids flip out, no one will hear them.

Scott


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## campntn (Feb 20, 2005)

Yikes! Don't displace your frustration on the poor camper!








I too am the owner of a strong willed son, my namesake. haha. I could tell stories that would curl your toes, the most frustrating would have been his not potty training until nearly 5..purposely! He'd drop a nasty load ANYWHERE but the potty...inside the tube slides at Burger KIng (which made me have to get the kidsmeal box, climb up in the tube and retrieve it myself







), in his closet, etc. We tried it alllllll...we were at our wits end. God stepped in with infinite wisdom and basically told me to back up, and focus on his strengths. I asked him to make me a page of A's. He made beautiful A's. Then draw dumptrucks. I found things he could succeed at. No mention of the potty. After 3 days of him being completely successful...he just magically started goin to the potty.







.
That being said, those tantrums drove me nutz too. I warned him goin into KMart one time, "if you scream, your gonna get a spanking, ok?" Even made him shake my hand on it. 
He screamed, I didn't ask questions, I reminded him of our deal and I frankly whooped his lil 3 year old butt sideways down the Hotwheels aisle till we got to the checkout. Yep, lady looked at me, I asked her if she wanted a piece of it too.
Strong willed children are extremely taxing, but I found that they are intense thinkers, much more than our other child. Each child has a key that you have to find. It's just harder to find that key in a strong willed child. 
If I can raise him to adulthood, he will be a very successfull something or other. Currently, he says he wants to be a cartoon drawer for Disney or an astronaut. Either is ok..they're close to the beach. hahaha
My advice: keep the camper,, pick your battles wisely, don't negotiate, set firm rules with consequences and have him say them back. (personally I'm not a fan of a naughty chair or such as the nanny). a smart spank on a butt is Biblical and effective. Spend as much time as you can with em, love them harder than you reprimand them. 
My son is now 9. He and his sister are the joys of my life.
My .02 worth.
Mark 
And no, he never threw a fit in Kmart again....but the procedure was repeated successfully in Walmart/Krogers....etc.


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## PDX_Doug (Nov 16, 2004)

The whole dragging a screaming child out of a store/restaurant thing reminds me of a true story a heard recently. I can't remember where I heard it, may have even been here, but in any case...

It seems this one young mother was having a terrible time with her young child everytime she had to go to the grocery store. The kid was always trying to grab everything off the shelves, and would scream bloody murder if they did not get their way. This went on for quite some time, and on more than one occasion the mom was forced to abandon her shopping and take the child home.

One day she hatched a plan...

Our enterprising mother made a deal with a close family friend that the child liked, to be in the store at the same time (but out of sight). During the next shopping trip, as soon as the child started to act up, the mother warned 'one more outburst from you, and I am leaving!' Well, as might be expected, this did not deter the child. So, true to her word, the mother said 'Fine, that's it, I'm out of here!', took her purse, got in her car and drove home. Leaving the child standing in the aisle, dumfounded (and a little scared!).

Of course, about this time, the friend came around the corner, saw the child and took control. After finishing her own shopping, she drove the tyke home and reunited mother and child.

The upshot was, the child NEVER made a scene in public again! Sometimes drastic circumstances call for drastic measures. I'm sure their are some out there that would call this child abuse, or abandonment of something. But the child was never in danger, and it worked.

Just a thought.

Happy Trails,
Doug


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## caleb22 (Jun 13, 2005)

Thanka everyone for your input. Sometimes you feel as if you're on an island and all you have is trees to talk to.

We have decided to get rid of the child and keep the camper.

JUST KIDDING!

I will be checking out those books though. Believe it or not last night was a good night. We all went to bed smiling...at least until the little monster woke up at 6am









Thanks again!


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## California Jim (Dec 11, 2003)

Ever watch the Supernanny on ABC







Maybe you're a candidate.


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## Reggie44 (Aug 12, 2005)

Hi Caleb 22. I understand and empathise with your predicament. I will suggest if you are so inclined looking into a course my wife and I used called "Growing kids God's way". It has been a combination of things, but we have been truely blessed by our children. The course was I believe about 8 evenings and is done with 3 or 4 other couples. Your local church could probably help in obtaining the material. Anyways good luck and I agree with others your time is one of the most important things you can give to your children. JR


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## glennsteers (Apr 25, 2005)

PDX Doug,

I like your story! Just make sure your friend actually shows up for Part 2 of the plan or you might be spending the holidays in lockup!!


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## 7heaven (Jun 4, 2005)

We did GKGW and it really helped (Reggie44's post), in conjunction with Dobson's books. Different perspectives helped. Also, Mark's advice on finding things he's good at is key. If you can channel that passion in a positive direction, your son is going to be a super leader some day!


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## j1mfrog (Jun 6, 2004)

caleb22 said:


> We have decided to get rid of the child and keep the camper.
> 
> JUST KIDDING!
> [snapback]66856[/snapback]​


That was going to be my suggestion!


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## caleb22 (Jun 13, 2005)

Got confirmation today...new little one is on the way!


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## PDX_Doug (Nov 16, 2004)

So, is this a







, or a







?

In any case, congratulations!

Happy Trails,
Doug


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## caleb22 (Jun 13, 2005)

Thanks!

We were planning for it...didn't want our little one to be an only child.


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## mswalt (Sep 14, 2004)

caleb22,

Congratulations on the new baby! Sorry for the rabbit, though.









Mark


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## 2500Ram (Oct 30, 2005)

Congrats on the good news.

We have a 5 and 2 almost 3 yr old here and have been wanting just one more for so long. Treasure every moment of the entire pregnancy even though it can be rough









Kids are what keeps me going everyday. Some days are bad but I don't remember those, I remember all the good days with the family camping sunny

Bill.


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## firemedicinstr (Apr 6, 2005)

Wow what a cool thread, Congrats on the new one on the way,
The next eighteen years will be one of the baddest to the bone funnest rides in life. AND you will regret getting rid of that trailer.................

We dont know what having "just one" is like as our first were TWINS. We added a boy five years after the twins.
We too did not see "terrible two's" the horrible three's were followed by the talkative fives, Standing in line at Wallyworld and you hear "mommy if the fat woman ahead of us farts were all dead" yep. thats my girl.

The youngest cant pass a reading test at school to save his life, but hand him the Sunday sport section and he can tell you every living detail that starts with NASCAR or the VA TECH HOKIES football team.

I still would agree with the posts that were ahead of me, rule out something medical, then ask yourself if the kids in charge or the adult.

Each child has had to learn the hard way who's running the show.

good luck and keep us posted over the next nine months.

take care,
-bean-


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## j1mfrog (Jun 6, 2004)

Caleb22

I was talking to DW the other day. Both of us thought it was easier camping with a difficult child than being home during the summer. Keep going. ...and congratulations on the new one.


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## Thor (Apr 7, 2004)

Congrats!!!! Outstanding news.

Your Outback will become a great source of family enjoyment. Just hang in there.
We have 3 children 7,5 & 3 and have been camping with the Outback for 2 years. We love our children dearly, however; like most parent there are times that we wish for the days with no kids. Ever child is different. Our oldest from day 1 was very independent and need very little sleep. The biggest complainer if things were not 100% her way. Now she is a wonderful little girl. Out middle child, very easy going and hardly ever cries; however, he takes advangate of our youngest one all the time. Now our little one is the trying one. Was an angle until 2 1/2 and than we must have gotten some elses child because he turned 180. This lasted for about 6 months and just recently he has become our little angel again.

Even yesterday all three of our children are asking when we can go camping again? This is with 6" of snow on the ground. Outbacking is a great source of family fun and togetherness for us. We would not trade it in for the world.

Thor


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