# An Update From Acadia Hiker



## Acadia Hiker (May 29, 2007)

Hello everyone. Haven't been around in a long time and I wanted everyone to know what's going on in my life (if you're interested in those sorts of things...). Hope you have a bit of time because this will be a long post.

As you know, this time last year I was looking to move on from teaching for 16 years to a new and different career path. I remind you of that because I believe it plays a part in this tale. The school district I used to work for is run by a complete dictator of a superintendent whose philosophy is "my way or the highway," and if you are dumb enough to question any directives or give a differing opinion, you are labeled as "negative" and railroaded out the door. I chose the highway and to this day, I still can't believe that I left my chosen profession over administration and their stupidity. Unfortunately, I left my wonderful wife there, who was also a teacher in the school. I will never forget the look on her face and the tears running down her cheeks the day I walked out the door for the last time.

By the end of the school year in June, my wife was starting to show signs that the jobs was no longer worth it--a job she truly loved. She was highly successful and had nationally recognized students. They meant the world to her. Did administration ever take the time to congratulate her or her students? Nope. They couldn't care less or show any less interest in her or her program (which, by the way, she resurrected from the grave when she began teaching there in 1992).

She wasn't sleeping much at night and was showing signs of depression. I tried to get her to see the doctor, but she kept saying, "Summer is coming--I'll be OK." Well, she wasn't. Very little changed in her outlook and I was getting scared. I still couldn't get her to the doctor.

By the end of August, it was time to go back to school and she was a wreck. To top it off, they assigned my wife to seven classes per day for the school year. No, not seven periods--_seven different classes per day to prepare for_! (BTW, everyone else has 3 or 4.) On top of this, she also was in charge of two stores within the school to train her students and raise funds for the competitions for them to attend (since the district won't provide a cent for them, but can purchase a $1 million dollar turf field for athletics...).

By the third day of school, she was in _waaaaaaay_ over her head, and needless to say, she lost it. She was sent home after first period a total mess. I have never witnessed a total break down like I saw in her. She was constantly crying at the smallest thing. One day she called me at work bawling at the fact that she couldn't remember how to attach a document to an e-mail. I called the doctor and they got her in that day. He spent _two hours_ with her and was promptly placed on medical leave. I really thought I was going to lose her. I never knew if I would come home one day from work and find her. I was scared at even leaving the house in the morning.

One week after all of this happened, she developed a blood clot in her lower leg. When it rains, it pours...







Everything fell on me as she was totally bed-ridden and unable to do the simplest of tasks. That was OK, because I wanted her to focus on getting better. She means the world to me, and I honestly couldn't live without her.

She spent the next two months recovering and trying to get the administration to understand that NO ONE can possibly do what they asked of her. Did they once call or e-mail to find out how she was doing? Nope. They sent nasty responses to her cries for help and pretended it was her fault her schedule was as it was. That's the kind of school district I used to work for. Nice place, huh? I believe that at least some of this came about because of my leaving and not being afraid to tell everyone I run into how it _really_ is behind the scenes within the schools.

Last week, the school board accepted her letter of resignation and she is currently unemployed. However, I have never seen her happier. She has been liberated and now knows what real life is like. We are able to do things as a family that we have never been able to do before because our weekends and school nights were spent doing work. A few nights ago, while having dinner and watching the snow fall out the window, she suggested we take a walk in the snow--and we did. That _never_ would have happened when we were teaching--there wasn't time for it.

Our current income is 46% of what it was this time last year (Merry Christmas!







), but it is worth it. Our marriage has _never_ been stronger and we now know what those vows we said were all about--"For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part." We have enough money saved to get us through a couple months, and we just found out she is eligible for unemployment due to the manner of her leaving her job. We think the district will fight it, but we have enough documentation that they would be stupid to do so and will lose the appeal. At least the economy is strong right now...









Just a few days ago, the sub they hired for her left the building half-way through the day crying because she shouldn't handle it any more. Ironic, huh? It wasn't my wife's inability to do it, that's for sure.

The last three months of our lives have been hell, but as Winston Churchill said, "If you are going through hell, keep going."


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## john7349 (Jan 13, 2008)

Sometimes it's best to stop and take a look at where life is leading you. It's no fun to be controlled by other people's wishes. Sounds like you guys figured out you are the ones in ultimate control. Feels good huh?


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## PDX_Doug (Nov 16, 2004)

Geez, Acadia, what a terrible time that must have been for the two of you. I am so sorry that you have had to go through all of that. It is interesting though, how life has a way of putting things in perspective for you. For all the hell you two have been through, your commitment to each other sounds stronger than ever, and your appreciation for the basic things in life enhanced.

Hang in there guys. I know there will be a lot of that positive Outbackers energy heading your way, and that never hurts!









Happy Trails,
Doug


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## rdvholtwood (Sep 18, 2008)

Acadia, No Job is worth it when it causes all that stress. You and your wife did the right thing by moving on. We may never understand why people do what they do and cause hardships on each other. But, the important thing to know is that you both have each other's support to get through this. Now that you have this burden lifted off you, let the sun shine through and bring you both happiness.


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## Sayonara (Jul 23, 2007)

Wow, you have had quite a year. You both have been blessed with the knowledge that together, now stronger and happier, you can move through the hard times and be better off. Everything will work itself out and as long as you keep supporting one another and provide love for your family, you will be just fine. Hang in there !!


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## dunn4 (Feb 16, 2008)

I am so glad that she was able to recover from such a terrible situation and that would not have been possible without the loving support and care given by her spouse/partner. Thanks goodness for you both and here's to many more walks in the snow, sand, and trails.


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## skippershe (May 22, 2006)

Thank you for sharing your story...

Too many of us go through life stuck in a job that is unhealthy in mind, body and spirit.
I'm so happy to hear that you and your wife were able to break away and begin the healing process.
It's never easy to just quit, but it sounds like it was the best thing both of you have ever done


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## garyb1st (Dec 6, 2007)

How sad that people who love teaching have to contend with administrations that apparently have agendas that don't appear to include education. Sadly it seems to be as bad at this end of the country. At least according to a good friend and grade school teacher for close to 20 years. He often complains about the dictatorial style of the principals he has worked for at two different schools during the past three years.

Good luck in finding those perfect jobs that are both fulfilling and meets your economic needs.


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## N7OQ (Jun 10, 2006)

A H glad everything has worked out for you and I feel so bad for your wife, no one should have to go through something like this. This guy should be identified as creating a hostile work environment and should be canned and never allowed to supervise anyone again. I know what it is like to work for a dictator and how the stress feel and how it changes your physical health and I know how much weight is lifted when you finally get away from that source of stress. I wish the best to both of you and so glad you got away from that jerk. I feel for the sub too and anyone else who still works there, the children will suffer too. Who knows someone might just go postal on this dude someday, everyone handles stress differently.


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## mountainlady56 (Feb 13, 2006)

Acadia,
I'm so sorry that you and your wife have been through such tough times, emotionally and physically. Thank God you got her the help she needed for depression before it was too late, and I'm SO THANKFUL that you have both come through this stronger than before!!
Let the school board pay her unemployment......she definitely deserves it, and, hopefully a better job will come open for her. 
Thanks for sharing, and don't worry about Christmas. I'm sure the family is much happier to have their mom well and happy again, than worrying about what material things they will get.
God bless you all!!
HUGS!








Darlene


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## wolfwood (Sep 19, 2005)

Wow, Bernie! What a year!

But you said it all - - "If you are going through hell, keep going." After all, the alternative sure doesn't hold much appeal.

Yanno - Kath & I are both firm believers that "it all happens for a reason". We can't know what all "those reasons" are and we can drive ourselves over the edge trying to figure them out. Maybe - this time - the greater powers needed the 2 of you to understand....undeniably....just how important you each are to the other. We think we understand stuff - - - but then something profound happens that points out to us just how much we didn't _really_ know, a all. I'm sure you're as tired of all those "life lessons" ass we are - - - but there is certainly one lesson which we, like you, have come to truly understand and appreciate. and WILL NEVER AGAIN take for granted. There is simply nothing in this life which we can not face and overcome without the love, support, and patience of our life partner. As rocky as the road may be before us, we *CAN* make it through the rubble and the sun WILL shine brighter on the other side!

Bernie, our hearts and hopes are with you both! Can't wait to meet you in June!!


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## Doxie-Doglover-Too (Jan 25, 2007)

You may half you income but you have the "whole" of each of you. You have shown that the monsters you faced couldn't beat you down and keep you down. You picked yourselves up and dusted yourselves on and are putting the best foot forward







. Just before I quit working, so much corporate crap was happening and I wouldn't conform to their "stuff" all to make them look better when in my heart it went against principles. When I would'nt sacrifce yet MORE of me, it really started downhill. All the years of devotion and sacrifices (boy, hindsight sure it 20-20) didn't mean diddly squat. It took awhile to purge out of my system what had become part of my being, but once it was behind me-WOW! I could breathe! Now when I see other people going thru the same stuff, I try to talk to them, but they are the same brick wall I was when Rick was trying to talk to me







.

May you have many many more years on the even stronger foundation you 2 share!


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## mswalt (Sep 14, 2004)

Acadia Hiker,

Thanks for the reminder that we need to be happy instead of busy. I'm sorry you two had to go through what you did but God never puts us through what we cannot handle.

A few years ago, my wife's job was making her physically ill. No one there seemed to like her for some reason and she came home each day worn out and upset. She was so stressed out from work that she suffered two minor heart attacks (is there such thing as a minor heart attack) but she slogged to work each day. She started praying for the co-worker who was making her the most stressed out and, now, that co-worker is a good friend of hers. God works in mysterious ways, my friend!

I hope you two continue to work through this and gather strength from each other. I'm so happy you have come this far!

Hang in there; it only gets better.

Mark


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## MaeJae (May 12, 2005)

I am glad that you were able to share with Outbackers family!

"No amount of security is worth the suffering of a life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams"

Blessings to your wife, you and your family!MaeJae


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## Dadof4 (Mar 30, 2007)

Let me guess, she is a music (or drama) teacher in a high school. I taught in Long Beach CA for 5 years; while I loved the kids, but the hours were unbelievable. 7 preps, inventory, musicals, basketball and football games, parades, marching competitions, booster meetings (useless), orchestra festivals, jazz festivals... and not one cent for support staff. Thanks goodness we didn't have kids and my wife was in school (she had lots of time alone to study.) After taking an office position at a local college I managed to work my way into a fulltime gig.

Secondary school teachers are truly unsung heroes. I hope you can both find a new career that will let you have the family time you need. Hang in there!


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## Nathan (Jan 2, 2007)

Wow, I'm really glad to hear that things worked out. Health and happiness is more important than money any day of the week! I hope things keep improving for you guys!


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