# Has Anyone Had This Situation?



## outtatown (Feb 15, 2005)

Gut check here.

We have a seasonal site that we keep our fiver on. In the past, before we had a seasonal site and towed our trailer, we would invite friends *without* a trailer who liked to camp to accompany us.

They would always find out when we were arriving (and then came about 2 hrs. later...IMO after the set up work was done) and left 2 hrs before we broke camp (IMO, the same theory as the late arrival).

Anyway, now that we have a seasonal site with boat, golf cart etc. we're getting quite a bit of pressure to invite them to stay with us. Problem is, where they used to have one child, they now have three, and where we used to kennel our dog, we now bring him with us. So, that said, there would be nine people (including an infant) and one very nervous and protective dog all in one camper. Again, IMO...not a great situation for relaxation.

So...to avoid any hard feelings and to set a precedent, we made it clear up front that anyone who would like to enjoy the lake with us for the weekend would need to rent a nearby cabin or room (literally at the same resort we keep our trailer). It's just too close quarters for anyone to really have a relaxing time.

Long story long....we're getting tremendous push back from this family. They don't want to pay to stay and I'm hearing things like... "why can't we just stay with you?" and...."I don't want to pay $125 just to sleep somewhre"

Has anyone else had this situation? I'm trying to be tactful, but fear that I'm going to have to "go there" if you know what I mean (meaning, hey...if you like camping so much...buy a camper!" )

Thoughts anyone?


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## tdvffjohn (Mar 10, 2005)

Sounds like my brother







Tact don t work


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## skippershe (May 22, 2006)

outtatown said:


> Gut check here.
> 
> We have a seasonal site that we keep our fiver on. In the past, before we had a seasonal site and towed our trailer, we would invite friends *without* a trailer who liked to camp to accompany us.
> 
> ...


We have a camping trip set up this fall where we are going to be the ones with "the lodge" since everyone else will be tent camping. Even though our krs28 would sleep 8 (yeah right), there's no way I would let that happen because I would lose my mind! Everyone knows that we will be able to provide the atmosphere and shelter from the wind during awake hours, but they also all know where they are staying for the night (I hope)...Sounds like you already tried to set the rules and they aren't listening. Are they able to set up a tent nearby? If not, it sounds to me like you're going to have to "Go There" Good luck!


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## huntr70 (Jul 8, 2005)

I think I would just explain to them that since it is your trailer, that you paid for, you want to be able to relax in it.

Since that can't happen with 9 people in it, they have the option to rent a cabin, or reserve a site and pitch a tent.

Or, you could always hand them and Outback brochure and invite them to become an owner.









Steve


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## outtatown (Feb 15, 2005)

Yeah, I knew I was probably being too soft, but gee, my mama raised me to bend over backwards to be nice but to never expect a free ride and darn it....I'm just frustrated. If she was my sister, I wouldn't have to be nice would I?

I think part of the problem is that they just spent major bucks on a new house and are short on $ (with the third baby too)...but is that my problem? I know, meow.

I just feel a little taken advantage of. And I've mentioned in passing that wouldn't it be great if the bought a camper too? Alas, I don't see that in the cards.


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## mswalt (Sep 14, 2004)

outtatown,

Tough call. Assuming these people are *good* friends, I'd just explain it to them exactly like you explained it to us, sans the IMO notations, of course.

If they don't understand your point of view, don't give in. Reiterate that you don't run a hotel, would really enjoy their company, that they are welcome to join you to use *your* amenities of the lake, etc., but that you cannot put them up in your well-deserved trailer, your home away from home.

If they don't get the point, ditch the invitation.

If they are not *good* freinds, don't worry about it.

Mark


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## Swanie (Oct 25, 2004)

Dude, if you give in on this one, you will set a precedent for all future stays -- they will continue to use you and your camper. It's one thing to hang out together during the day; it's entirely another thing to cramp into a trailer and sleep with screaming kids, barking dogs, etc. Come on, get a clue!

Because he's whining about renting a cabin, suggest the tent idea as middle ground. Good luck.


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## Swanie (Oct 25, 2004)

And if they whine about the tent, get new friends.


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## outtatown (Feb 15, 2005)

You know we love our Outback, but the Taj Mahal it's not! We've camped 8 in it before and I can honestly say when it says "sleeps 8" it truly only means sleep....NOT camp! Last summer we went down to the Ozarks to a popular campground area right on the lake and these friends were upset that we didn't invite them...I don't get upset when they don't invite me on their Floriday Disneyworld vacations!


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## Castle Rock Outbackers (Jan 18, 2004)

Right...there should not be a problem with pitching a nice rented tent nearby.

Randy


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## campmg (Dec 24, 2005)

Indeed it's hard if they're good friends but you have to stay strong on your opinion. Some people are users. They don't mind being crowded if it's free and they don't have to do any work. Explain your position and see what good friends they really are. My brother and wife are joining us for a trip soon and understand they will have to pitch a tent on our site. The Outback is not big enough for all of us plus it's dry camping.

If that doesn't work, I was wondering if you have the week of July 4th open? We'd love to stay for free by a lake.


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## CamperAndy (Aug 26, 2004)

Have they offered you compensation or are they just looking for a free ride?? I know that money does not make it more comfortable but at least you would know what your friendship is worth to them. Personally I would never want to be that close to my friends in their trailer.

Are you allowed to pitch a tent on your lot if it is big enough?

Even after writing this I think that your suggestion for them to rent a cabin is the best way to stay friends.

Good Luck.


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## outtatown (Feb 15, 2005)

Just got another e-mail from my friend who is now suggesting that they split their family up among all three of us who have trailers so they don't have to shell out any money. I guess they think we all won ours on Let's Make a Deal.


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## Swanie (Oct 25, 2004)

Yeah, roommates cannot always stay friends.


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## tdvffjohn (Mar 10, 2005)

outtatown said:


> Just got another e-mail from my friend who is now suggesting that they split their family up among all three of us who have trailers so they don't have to shell out any money. I guess they think we all won ours on Let's Make a Deal.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Now I know its my brother









He tried that with me and my brother in law

Next he will offer to buy a six pack to thank you for the vacation


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## CamperAndy (Aug 26, 2004)

tdvffjohn said:


> Now I know its my brother
> 
> 
> 
> ...


But only if he can drink it with you.


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## Swanie (Oct 25, 2004)

Sticky situation. But no one walks on you without your permission.


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## outtatown (Feb 15, 2005)

No, no compensation and I'm sure they'll arrive late and leave early. I think campmg is right on, some people are users and some people like me are naive and trusting and usually end up taking it up the....

Yes, we're down on the lake and no, you can't come for free (nor can you pitch a tent though our site is huge....it's against the "rules"). You can, however bring your Outback down and set it up next to ours...I'll even buy you a beer!


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## tdvffjohn (Mar 10, 2005)

Actually does nt the campground have a rule about max people on a site and sharing one unit. They are denying the campground money also. A few I stay at do have that rule. You can just tell him they do


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## outtatown (Feb 15, 2005)

You guys are funny. Oh, and my husband told me that while I'm doing a great job standing my ground...that if I sway and they end up camping with us, he's staying home that weekend.

For years, my folks had a lake house (a real house 3 bedrooms etc.) and we used it a lot and had friends down (these folks many times). You'd think there would be some graciousness after all those years.

You shouldn't expect gratitude or thank you or anything like that....you'll always be dissappointed. You've all bolstered my strength to stand up to her!


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## tdvffjohn (Mar 10, 2005)

As you say...camping families are happy families.....and now you can add.....in there own units


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## outtatown (Feb 15, 2005)

tdvffjohn said:


> Actually does nt the campground have a rule about max people on a site and sharing one unit. They are denying the campground money also. A few I stay at do have that rule. You can just tell him they do
> [snapback]116835[/snapback]​


Yes, and they're willing to pay the $4 per extra head per day.


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## Bull Elk (Feb 28, 2005)

Having had to deal with this myself, I would say that the biggest thing to remember is that them feeling left out really is not for you to worry about. As others have said, if you explain things to them and they do not understand, you almost need to wonder why they are your friends. This is hard to do, but I also know the feeling of coming home after a trip, that was supposedly going to be relaxing, in a very, very, very, grumpy mood. That is not why we bought the camper in the first place. Of course, if you really want to be grumpy, try camping with "campindox". (I hope that you are reading this Mary







)
Good Luck - Rich


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## Lady Di (Oct 28, 2005)

You are paying to sleep somewhere, plus you are also paying to have someplace to sleep. Why should they be any different?
Like others have said, 'you give in now, you will never have peace again'. You made a rule for everyone.

Good luck on telling them no.


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## outtatown (Feb 15, 2005)

Bull Elk said:


> Having had to deal with this myself, I would say that the biggest thing to remember is that them feeling left out really is not for you to worry about. As others have said, if you explain things to them and they do not understand, you almost need to wonder why they are your friends. This is hard to do, but I also know the feeling of coming home after a trip, that was supposedly going to be relaxing, in a very, very, very, grumpy mood. That is not why we bought the camper in the first place. Of course, if you really want to be grumpy, try camping with "campindox". (I hope that you are reading this Mary
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yes, I suggested the cabin thing to her last week and mentioned that I was worried their baby wouldn't be comfortable (other kids in and out all day) and that really with all the stuff that babies that age need, it would just be too cramped. It took a week for her to reply (we're at work e-mailing) and she said, "Since our baby's things will cramp your family..." I knew I'd had it. I didn't say I didnt like her baby...he's a fine baby. I just don't want 9 people in my frickin camper (oh, did I mention 5 of those people would be under 12?) . ARRRRGGGHHHH!


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## Fire44 (Mar 6, 2005)

Keep standing your ground......

It is hard but you have to do it. I have a brother that is alot like that, not as bad but will take advanage of you if you let him.

If they get mad and stop calling have you really lost a friend???

Gary


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## jlbabb28 (Feb 27, 2006)

I used to share a fifth wheel with my brother in law and all in all it worked out well. However he has started a family and we out grew it. Hence the OB, that being said I am huge on pay your own way do you own thing. We canped a few weeks ago with friends and they did not even offer to pitch in for the food. i told my wife it's the last time that ever happens.

They want to enjoy your tt with none of the expense that goes with it. It's not your fault they have more children than they can afford and more house payment than they can pay. It does not mean they in turn should get to ruin your vacation.

I say no way, give me thier number I'll call em and say they can't go! After my experience a few weeks ago the free rides are over!

Jeff


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## outtatown (Feb 15, 2005)

jlbabb28 said:


> I used to share a fifth wheel with my brother in law and all in all it worked out well. However he has started a family and we out grew it. Hence the OB, that being said I am huge on pay your own way do you own thing. We canped a few weeks ago with friends and they did not even offer to pitch in for the food. i told my wife it's the last time that ever happens.
> 
> They want to enjoy your tt with none of the expense that goes with it. It's not your fault they have more children than they can afford and more house payment than they can pay. It does not mean they in turn should get to ruin your vacation.
> 
> ...


Jeff, I like your style Their number is fre-ride


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## Moosegut (Sep 24, 2005)

We run into this a lot since we have a boat and do two weeks on Schroon Lake, NY and two weeks on Lake George, NY. We love to have people enjoy the lakes with us and we like to have the kid's friends too. BUT, we make it very clear that this is our vacation and they are welcome to stay (in a tent) for two or three nights (or the bunks if it's the boys' friends). Day trips are fine too if they live nearby, but we limit that too. This is my time with my family!

We have a great time when people are with us and the limits have been set in advance. Invariably, my kids will ask, can "Justin and Adam (or whomever) stay for another night or two?" I play that by ear and if I'm tired of them already, the answer is no - if I'm having fun, and the fam is having fun, then the answer is yes.

It's great to be hospitable and great to share with others - just don't let them take advantage of you. I have no problem saying "It's time for you to get out" - and they usually do.







You can do the same. If these people are friends you would enjoy having stay, then let them stay. Maybe you can limit it to Friday night and let them leave Saturday right after dinner. If it will interfere with your ability to relax with your family, say "We'll have to make it some other weekend, Hubby and I have something special planned for that weekend." It's none of their business what that "special" is. The special could be cuddling on the sofa with the kids, watching a movie - but you don't have to tell your friend. Just stand your ground nicely.

My 2 cents.

Scott


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## Doxie-Doglover (Apr 19, 2006)

YOU have worked for this trailer and do all the work to have and use it. It is for YOUR family, espcecially when raising your kids, time in that trailer at end of day is for all you , not all of THEM! when we got our 27rsds I made it clear that if my daughter, son in law and 2 yr old ever wanted to come along I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY PRIVATE QUEEN BEDROOM FOR ANYONE EXCEPT THE GRANDAUGHTER. We have worked too to have this and the reason we went with the model we did, it fits OUR needs, not anyone elses. As was said in another post, for some of us, our lives are half over (or we have half left to go!), it's time for us to focus on us.I don't feel the need to accomodate and make my own space available to anyone. My daughter and grandaughter are ALWAYS welcome however


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## Doxie-Doglover (Apr 19, 2006)

YOU have worked for this trailer and do all the work to have and use it. It is for YOUR family, espcecially when raising your kids, time in that trailer at end of day is for all you , not all of THEM! when we got our 27rsds I made it clear that if my daughter, son in law and 2 yr old ever wanted to come along I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY PRIVATE QUEEN BEDROOM FOR ANYONE EXCEPT THE GRANDAUGHTER. We have worked too to have this and the reason we went with the model we did, it fits OUR needs, not anyone elses. As was said in another post, for some of us, our lives are half over (or we have half left to go!), it's time for us to focus on us.I don't feel the need to accomodate and make my own space available to anyone. My daughter and grandaughter are ALWAYS welcome however


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## ee4308 (Aug 23, 2005)

outtatown said:


> jlbabb28 said:
> 
> 
> > I say no way, give me thier number I'll call em and say they can't go! After my experience a few weeks ago the free rides are over!
> ...


outtatown,

LOL, I like Jeff's idea. Give him the *real* number, or tell "the friends" that they will have to make arrangements through your agency, "Jeff's Booking Agency" and let her call him.







I think Jeff could take care of your problem in a flash.


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## prevish gang (Mar 19, 2006)

This really makes me so angry for you because I have faced this situation my whole life. Some people overextend themselves and to buy more than they can afford or put all their money aside for retirement and because you choose to budget responsibly or enjoy the money you make they feel they are somehow "entitled" to what you have because you have so much. My father paid off my house after an extended illness of our newborn almost bankrupted us. This was my eventual inheritance and a great one. Later when I separate from my husband and have 4 kids to support I had to take a job that paid $6.50 per hour, take a roommate and clean houses on the weekends to make ends meet. In spite of that, my house became the gathering place and I began to realize that I was cooking (and paying for the food) of my so-called friends every weekend. Everyone felt I must be breezing through life since I had a free house







Are they crazy? I had 2 kids in daycare! Finally after making suggestions that people begin to pull their weight with the expenses, preparation of the food and cleanup; all of a sudden it wasn't so much fun to gather at my house. Bottom line. . . H#$% no, they are not going to put you through that kind of vacation even if they want to use guilt to try to make you do it. If they can afford that new house, they can pay for a hotel or cabin; if not, oh well you will miss them. Maybe next time they can save a little money and join you for Labor Day. Sorry. It is YOUR Trailer, YOUR Vacation, YOUR choice, not theirs. Invite yourself to their next vacation free of charge and see how that flies. (Boy, I feel even angrier after the ranting!!!!!!!!!!)


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## PDX_Doug (Nov 16, 2004)

You know, this really frosts my... well, you know!



outtatown said:


> "I don't want to pay $125 just to sleep somewhre"


And yet, they don't seem to mind that you spent $20K+ 'just to sleep somewhere'









In all honesty outtatown, with 'friends' like that, who needs enemies! Do not let yourself feel guilty about this. Unless there is some other kind of reciprocal agreement (i.e.: they have a ski cabin or something that they offer at no cost for your use), these people haven't a leg to stand on. If they continue to pressure you, then I would question just how good friends these people really are. I certainly have never had a good friend that would be so selfish or inconsiderate.

I bet these so called friends would be appalled if the shoes were on the other feet!

Stand your ground!









Happy Trails,
Doug


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## jlbabb28 (Feb 27, 2006)

ee4308 said:


> outtatown said:
> 
> 
> > jlbabb28 said:
> ...


I'll be more than happy too! I have (had) friends that love to take advantage of what I have and expect to do it for free, just burns my......

I have worked my tail off for what I have if your going to hang with me at least offer to pay your share part of the time. I am a very giving person but geez. give an inch take a mile, now I am going to be pissed all weekend thing about the position your so called friends put you in.

Jeff


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## Ghosty (Jan 17, 2005)

truthfully -- i am not a very tactful person -- i would tell him that you simply need to spend some time with your family alone --

of course if you don't nip this in the bud I guarantee that the next thing to happen will be that they will ask to go up there WITHOUT you sometime... I see the writing on the wall on this one...


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## RizFam (Feb 25, 2006)

Shelly,

I hate say this, but she doesn't sound like a friend she sounds like a freeloaded.
I would just say it is too much & it stresses me out. Done! She is also, waaaaaaaaaaaay too much work. Just look at all the stress she is causing you right now.







Not Right! 
A good firend would be more understanding.

Sorry, just my 2 cents.

Good Luck,
Tami


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## HootBob (Apr 26, 2004)

Well Shelly
All I can say is you and DH need time for each other and it's your time to R&R
Sooner or later you are going to have to say enough is enough NO MORE
If she is a true friend she will under stand
Like they say sooner or later they have to pay the piper
Stick to your guns on this or you won't be happy any more

Don


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## Doxie-Doglover (Apr 19, 2006)

so how many of you would WANT to go to someone elses tt and share space that is alreay limited??? not MY idea of having fun.Oh, and that many people using a tt bathroom?? get real!


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## nynethead (Sep 23, 2005)

Your TT is your home and place for family time. Your family not some one elses. A cabin rental, tent site or the seats in their car will have to do.
I purchased my new TV about 6 weeks before the TT. A family member needed a new truck and changed makes to have the identical truck knowing we were purchasing the Outback. The day after I brought home the Outback the phone rang about borrowing it for vacations. When they discovered their engine was only the 4.6L not the 5.3, they thought it was OK to borrow the truck with the TT to go on vacation. I had to stop it immediately and say the trailer has my bed in it and I did not want anyone else sleeping in my bed or my childrens bed. I also said we were not breaking down the table or the sofa to support extra people.

Hasn;t gone over too well, but they don't ask any more.


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## mandy1 (Mar 26, 2006)

Do not be tactful
Tell these 'friends' that if they want to enjoy your company that they will need to find other accomodations for sleeping. If they do not like it they can stay home!
If they are truly your friends you should be able to tell them no. 
If you do not stand up for yourself and family now, then these friends will continue to take advantage of you.


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## skippershe (May 22, 2006)

At this point I would click on the top of this page where it says "email this topic" right to your friend's email address...Maybe that'll do it


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## stapless (Feb 20, 2005)

PDX_Doug said:


> You know, this really frosts my... well, you know!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


well stated doug!!

i couldn't agree more. I think all who posted gave you good advice. it's not easy to stand up to people like this. they are the ones who should be embarassed for asking the way they do. if it doesn't bother them to be tactless, don't feel bad about doing it in return!! be blunt, bold, and tell them how you feel. if they are true friends, they will understand.

scott


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## mountainlady56 (Feb 13, 2006)

jlbabb28 said:


> I used to share a fifth wheel with my brother in law and all in all it worked out well. However he has started a family and we out grew it. Hence the OB, that being said I am huge on pay your own way do you own thing. We canped a few weeks ago with friends and they did not even offer to pitch in for the food. i told my wife it's the last time that ever happens.
> 
> They want to enjoy your tt with none of the expense that goes with it. It's not your fault they have more children than they can afford and more house payment than they can pay. It does not mean they in turn should get to ruin your vacation.
> 
> ...


Jeff,
This sounds like MY brother and his wife, who used to go on trips with my first husband and I. Never failed.........plan a cookout? We brought top-grade meat.....they invented What-a-Burger (only it was "water-burger".......too cheap to put meat in zip-lock bag and not enough ice to keep it from melting big time!). They usually ended up eating OUR meat. Always called and said they were "on the way over" right after lunch..........showed up at supper time, our baby was newborn.......went on for MONTHS! on the weekends. Finally put my foot down!! No more joint trips, no more free meals.......if they show up at supper, we've "already eaten" and I'd STARVE to death before I cooked for them!! Some people just are freeloaders, and that's that!!
Darlene action


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## mountainlady56 (Feb 13, 2006)

Ghosty said:


> truthfully -- i am not a very tactful person -- i would tell him that you simply need to spend some time with your family alone --
> 
> of course if you don't nip this in the bud I guarantee that the next thing to happen will be that they will ask to go up there WITHOUT you sometime... I see the writing on the wall on this one...
> 
> ...


Ghosty,
You're right on the money, on this one. My cousin, in the Dallas area, and her husband work in high-stress jobs, and after 35 yrs. of marriage, putting 2 kids through college, going back to college off/on to further their careers and pulling 10-12 hr. days designing computer programs, she will gladly tell people that want to invite themselves to go along on their vacations that she and Karl need time alone. They love to golf, travel to Paris, Hawaii (5 times, so far), Siesta Key Beach in Fla., New York, Las Vegas, etc. People shouldn't intrude on other's vacation time. If they wanted company, they would invite others to go, in my opinion.
Darlene action


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## Moosegut (Sep 24, 2005)

Okay, it's Saturday. I want everyone to take deep breaths and sometime today, watch The Great Outdoors with John Candy and Dan Aykroyd - have a good laugh about this kind of situation. Call me in the morning.


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## RizFam (Feb 25, 2006)

Moosegut said:


> Okay, it's Saturday. I want everyone to take deep breaths and sometime today, watch The Great Outdoors with John Candy and Dan Aykroyd - have a good laugh about this kind of situation. Call me in the morning.
> 
> 
> 
> ...










OK Dr. Scott now that sounds like a Great Idea.......break up the tention a lil bit.









Tami


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## Swanie (Oct 25, 2004)

I guess this is something EVERYBODY can relate to and it has pushed a few HOT BUTTONS!


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## Doxie-Doglover (Apr 19, 2006)

it was kinda funny when we upgraded to an Outback with a floor plan for US. My daughter was eyeballing it and wondered out loud how we were going to sleep "everyone". Hmmm.....I didn't answer. Besides, I am 1,000% positive my son-in-law does not want to be in box with his mother-in-law. I'd block the doorways and torture him


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## Steve McNeil (Aug 30, 2004)

PDX_Doug said:


> You know, this really frosts my... well, you know!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I have to agree with Doug. They don't appear to be true friends.

Steve


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## nonny (Aug 14, 2005)

You guys have given me some good advice on responses when my friends ask to borrow the TT. They asked to borrow my pop-up and I didn't mind. It was used, imperfect, and their daughter was an infant. As soon as I got the OB, she said, 
"Ooooooo, I can't wait to borrow that one!" Not gonna happen. $ and cents issue. One cup of spilled KoolAid, grape or cranberry juice and my upholstery is ruined. Since I got it at the very end of last summer, they didn't ask last year. I've been worried all spring that I'm going to get a phone call and not know what to say or will "roll over" when asked. Now, I feel like I can just be straight with her and tell her my friendship with her is worth enough to me to say no. I hope the same is true for you, outtatown. Now, I'm off to take advantage of Dr. Moosegut's great advice. Thanks for sharing!


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## campmg (Dec 24, 2005)

Wow, after over 50 posts this has obviously struck a nerve with us Outbackers. We all know how they feel. I hate when people put me in that position in the first place. When was the last time your "friends" took you to Disney Land, paid for your food, and slept in their hotel room?

Here's some standard responses I've heard growing up when people did not want you to do something. These may work here --

1. The insurance won't allow it.
2. It will void the warranty.
3. The Outbackers won't allow it. Ok, that's a new one.


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## Moosegut (Sep 24, 2005)

nonny said:


> You guys have given me some good advice on responses when my friends ask to borrow the TT.
> [snapback]117114[/snapback]​


It amazes me that anyone would ask to borrow someone's travel trailer. Aint no way anyone is towing my $20,000.00, 7000 pound home-away-from-home except me (and DW - MAYBE!). The next time someone asks to borrow the trailer, send them to this link that camperandy supplied and tell them that they are just too important and dear to you for you to allow them to take that risk. You may have to say it ten times, but just keep smiling as you say it - they'll eventually get the hint.

Scott

Fatal Trailer Crash?


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## Moosegut (Sep 24, 2005)

campmg said:


> Wow, after over 50 posts this has obviously struck a nerve with us Outbackers. We all know how they feel. I hate when people put me in that position in the first place. When was the last time your "friends" took you to Disney Land, paid for your food, and slept in their hotel room?
> 
> Here's some standard responses I've heard growing up when people did not want you to do something. These may work here --
> 
> ...


I LIKE the last one - it's perfect! Just tell them that at the next rally you'll be beaten to a pulp if you let them borrow it - then get some pictures of the . . . . shall we say . . . . eh hem . . . . larger members and show them to your friends. Tell them they have to contact "Dees Guys wid da broken noses if day wanna borrow da trailer."


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## tdvffjohn (Mar 10, 2005)

All of us 'nice' people feel real strong about loaning or sharing (freeloading ) out the Outback









Ain t nobody touching mine either


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## Doxie-Doglover (Apr 19, 2006)

see!? we are all do darn proud to have these TT and we are taking good care of them.After all, an OUtback ain't just another trailer....it's an Outback!


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## RizFam (Feb 25, 2006)

campmg said:


> Wow, after over 50 posts this has obviously struck a nerve with us Outbackers. We all know how they feel. I hate when people put me in that position in the first place. When was the last time your "friends" took you to Disney Land, paid for your food, and slept in their hotel room?
> 
> Here's some standard responses I've heard growing up when people did not want you to do something. These may work here --
> 
> ...


Good point campmg


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## outtatown (Feb 15, 2005)

Hello everyone! Nothing like lighting a fire and walking away for the weekend! (Sorry, I had no idea when I posted this thread on Friday afternoon that I would get such a reaction! Whew!) AND..... I must say, a positive reaction!

So, I do feel better (not a bit guilty) and Wade and I talked about it off and on this weekend and we're standing our ground for sure. The other two families who have their trailers lots by ours are also dealing with kind of the same issues. See...at one time we were much more lenient, but decided that now that it's more of a "lake house" we needed to put down some boundaries. In my friends' case, they have a 30 ft. TT and she had to tell her friend with two kids and a dog that the ride is over...they'd love to have their company, but they'll need to rent a cabin. Here's the kicker....the friend says, "I noticed that they don't allow pets in the cabins....can we just leave "Lucy" (chihuhaua puppy...chews, poops, pees etc everywhere) with you? then, when your hubb gets up early, can he take her for a walk?" I just about fell of my chair when I heard this one...I think it's worse than my situation..."I'll stay in a cabin, but can you keep my dog for me?" Geeeeeez.

So...it's obviously a situation a lot of us are dealing with. With all the posts I've read I'd say it's a common one. My husband mentioned something this weekend he said, "Doesn't she say that the reason we all get together over here...(our house) is because her house is too small for entertaining?" I said, yes...he said..."so if her HOUSE is too small for our two families, how is it that our camper is big enough?"

Thanks everyone....Outbackers are great (and great minds think alike)!!


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## PDX_Doug (Nov 16, 2004)

Shelly,

Glad to hear that you and Wade are standing your ground! And, no, I don't think the situation is all that uncommon. It's like the neighbor that always wants to borrow your tools, or the friend that thinks your sole purpose in life is to provide free daycare for their kids.

Just remember, no one can take advantage of you, unless you let them!









Happy Trails,
Doug


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## aantolik (Apr 8, 2005)

Good for you & Wade. It is a great thing to be nice to people, but too many times that leads to people thinking they can walk over you. It's a shame but some people are like that. If they can't handle your decision without your losing the friendship, what kind of friendship was it to begin with.


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## NWcamper2 (Mar 28, 2004)

Good Friends don't put you in that situation...


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## outtatown (Feb 15, 2005)

After reading the last two posts you've got me thinking. And what I'm thinking is that we're a couple of pushovers. It's all coming clear to me now. We're whimps, woosies of the worst kind! I mean, the neighbor who borrows everything...yes, he's mine and he lives next door. And another "neighbor's" kid came over on Friday night and didn't leave until last night...and they've dropped him off before and just poof!....vanished! for like 5 hours. OMG do we have "MORON" tattooed on our foreheads?

Thank you for showing me the light! Seriously need to step back and take a look at this. And you're right...my mom used to say, "you can't be someone's doormat unless you lie down" and she, as usual, was right. Now I'm determined to smell the coffee!


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## Doxie-Doglover (Apr 19, 2006)

um........excuse me sir? um............well................like................uh..........er............can we bring our 2 adult kids and can they stay with you? oh, and their dog? he stopped growing at 90 lbs so isn't too big...


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## PDX_Doug (Nov 16, 2004)

outtatown said:


> It's all coming clear to me now. We're whimps, woosies of the worst kind!


Not at all. Just nice people. The kind that seem to congregate around Outbackers!









I had to chuckle at your tag line...
*Camping families are happy families!*
Words to live by!









Happy Trails,
Doug


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## Lady Di (Oct 28, 2005)

This has certainly been a hot topic. We all have had to spend money for our campers, and we all spend money for a site to camp on. Why do some people feel that they are entitled to our stuff?


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## emaggio (Apr 9, 2006)

Don't know if this is too late a response, but just tell your friends there are safety issues with too many people sleeping in a trailer your size. If a fire and you all had to exit quickly, could be a very serious problem. May be insurance and other liability issues as well.

A good size tent is the best and most economical idea, and they can even use it after getting an RV someday. Kids love to sleep in a tent. They seem to prefer tents to trailers, especially if they are all old enough to sleep in the tent alone (obviously close to the trailer).

Sometimes "friends" have to be taught proper etiquette. If it doesn't sink in then you must be firm....say you are just not comfortable with that many people in a small space. For safety reasons it's just not a good idea. What could they say to that?

emaggio


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## RizFam (Feb 25, 2006)

outtatown said:


> After reading the last two posts you've got me thinking. And what I'm thinking is that we're a couple of pushovers. It's all coming clear to me now. We're whimps, woosies of the worst kind! I mean, the neighbor who borrows everything...yes, he's mine and he lives next door. And another "neighbor's" kid came over on Friday night and didn't leave until last night...and they've dropped him off before and just poof!....vanished! for like 5 hours. OMG do we have "MORON" tattooed on our foreheads?
> 
> Thank you for showing me the light! Seriously need to step back and take a look at this. And you're right...my mom used to say, "you can't be someone's doormat unless you lie down" and she, as usual, was right. Now I'm determined to smell the coffee!
> 
> ...


Shelly,

Please don't feel bad about being a kind generous person. Those are wonderful qualities that we don't see to often these days, except here at Outbackers.com of course. What is sad is that the people close to you took advantage of that fact.







Shame on Them !!!
Chin up, lesson learned, now you can feel empowered when you tell them all* NO* the next time they try to take advantage of you & Wade!

Stay Sweet & Enjoy "YOUR" Beautiful Camper with "YOUR" family!!
Tami


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## outtatown (Feb 15, 2005)

I don't know what they'd say, but I'm about to find out. I'm getting ready to send her an e-mail saying that we've waited all year for this week's vacation and, even though they're only wanting to come down for one long weekend, it's just too crowded, etc. considering I'll have the OB loaded down with clothes and food for the four of us for 10 days.

As I mentioned last week when I started this thread, my husband Wade told me last week (after he heard that they were wanting to stay with his and looked at me with sheer panic and horror on his face). He said if they were coming, he's staying home. He reiterated that to me a couple of times this weekend as well...I'm sure just to make sure I didn't forget


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## outtatown (Feb 15, 2005)

RizFam said:


> outtatown said:
> 
> 
> > After reading the last two posts you've got me thinking. And what I'm thinking is that we're a couple of pushovers. It's all coming clear to me now. We're whimps, woosies of the worst kind!Â I mean, the neighbor who borrows everything...yes, he's mine and he lives next door. And another "neighbor's" kid came over on Friday night and didn't leave until last night...and they've dropped him off before and just poof!....vanished! for like 5 hours. OMG do we have "MORON" tattooed on our foreheads?
> ...










I've posted a few times over the years here and I've never felt such support from my fellow RVers...what is it about Outbackers that makes us so squishy?

I hear myself telling my boys a lot lately: "Don't ever throw a friend away, they're too precious"...you know like when they don't return a call from a friend etc. When they act complacent I always mention that friends aren't expendable and they're definitely not boomerangs...they won't return when you throw them away.

However....







advice taken. I'm not a boomerang either! HA! I crack myself up!!!!! I'll have to tell my friend that...she'll think I've lost it.


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## outtatown (Feb 15, 2005)

Lady Di said:


> This has certainly been a hot topic. We all have had to spend money for our campers, and we all spend money for a site to camp on. Why do some people feel that they are entitled to our stuff?
> [snapback]117902[/snapback]​


I don't know truly. When we put our swimming pool in a few years ago I kept hearing my mother in my head from when I was a little girl and the backdoor neighbors put a pool in. She said, "now...you wait to be invited, don't insinuate yourself. They'll invite you" and they did. So when I saw my neighbors' kids showing up at my gate with their swimsuits on and towels thrown over their shoulders I was like, "noooo way, folks. We'll call you." I'm sure they thought I was the neighborhood biatch...but when it comes to my pool on my property, I would never forgive myself if one of those kids, because I was so lenient, came into mypool without my knowledge and got hurt or worse.

I agree....why is my money so much easier to come by?


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## Moosegut (Sep 24, 2005)

We have kids in our pool all the time but my boys INVITE them. I do put my foot down and do not allow anyone to use our towels. We do enough laundry.

Now, before you start standing your ground, about that F250 - any chance I can bor . . . . . . . . . Nah, I guess not.


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## Lady Di (Oct 28, 2005)

We had friends who offered to pay us to use our popup. I checked with insurance, and the only we could be covered is if we pulled the popup to a site for them, and then picked it up. Now our standard answer is,"insurance company won't allow it". Works well.
if all else fails maybe you can blame it on your insurance company not wanting that many people in the camper.


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## Fire44 (Mar 6, 2005)

Congrads on standing your ground....

Don't use any excuses...."JUST SAY NO!!!"

Be nice, be sweet but be firm, the will respect you more if you do!!!

Gary


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## jedmunson (Apr 14, 2006)

outtatown said:


> You know we love our Outback, but the Taj Mahal it's not! We've camped 8 in it before and I can honestly say when it says "sleeps 8" it truly only means sleep....NOT camp! Last summer we went down to the Ozarks to a popular campground area right on the lake and these friends were upset that we didn't invite them...I don't get upset when they don't invite me on their Floriday Disneyworld vacations!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I would redefine these people....*friends* would hope you had a fun time on YOUR vacation and want to hear about it after you got back, not act like babies because they didnt get to go too.....

I am sure they used to be friends, but they arent acting friendly now....









Let go of your guilt, they are putting you on a guilt trip - actually go camping and I am sure you will forget all about it


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## Oregon_Camper (Sep 13, 2004)

NWcamper2 said:


> Good Friends don't put you in that situation...
> [snapback]117841[/snapback]​


Exactly...

Uh...Jeff, mine if I borrw your new truck June 30th 2007?


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## RizFam (Feb 25, 2006)

Hi Shelly,

Just wondering what happened after you told your friend the news?

Thinking of you,
Tami


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## 3LEES (Feb 18, 2006)

Hmmmmmmmmmm.............









Since we Outbackers are very aware of weight issues and GVW.............

Wouldn't putting 9 people in an Outback overload the suspension????









Sounds like a great reason to deny their request!









Dan


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## Reverie (Aug 9, 2004)

Tough call, for sure. I can be pretty direct if I have to but like you, I was raised to always try to accommodate people. When it comes to me sleeping I really don't like to listen to other people snore so I'm pretty straight forward in that. I have had friends sleep over but most of the time they prefer visiting us at the campsite and spending the night elsewhere. Maybe I snore too loud.

Reverie


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