# The Six Affairs



## Sexy Momma (Apr 18, 2005)

Affair #1:

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly sir, that'll be one cent," the bartender replied.
"One cent?" the man exlaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"
"A nickel," the bartender replied.
"A nickel?!" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
"Upstairs with my wife," he said.
The man then asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied, "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."


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## 2500Ram (Oct 30, 2005)

Good One


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## HootBob (Apr 26, 2004)

ROFLMAO
















Don


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## Steelhead (Nov 14, 2005)




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## Oregon_Camper (Sep 13, 2004)

Hehehehehehe....


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## drobe5150 (Jan 21, 2005)

lmao
















darrel


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## Thor (Apr 7, 2004)

Good One
















LMAO























Thor


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## PDX_Doug (Nov 16, 2004)

I like!









Can't wait to see two through six!









Happy Trails,
Doug


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## Sexy Momma (Apr 18, 2005)

AFFAIR #2:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband open the front door.
"Hurry," she said, "go stand in the corner."
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said, "pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh, it's a statue," she replied, "the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us too."
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing."


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## tdvffjohn (Mar 10, 2005)

Now that was Funny.









John


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## Thor (Apr 7, 2004)

Outstanding!!!!!!

Thor


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## drobe5150 (Jan 21, 2005)

capri

now that was a good one























keep em coming

darrel


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## HootBob (Apr 26, 2004)

I almost spit my drink out at the computer









Don


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## Oregon_Camper (Sep 13, 2004)

Keep em' coming SM....


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## nascarcamper (Jan 27, 2005)

Gooooood stuff.


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## Sexy Momma (Apr 18, 2005)

AFFAIR #3:

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby! Just look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time."


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## PDX_Doug (Nov 16, 2004)

Ahh...you're killing me here!








Keep 'em coming, Capri!

Happy Trails,
Doug


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## huntr70 (Jul 8, 2005)

That is soooo not right......
























.....but good stuff!!!!

Keep 'em coming!!!

Steve


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## old_tidefan (Nov 23, 2005)

The milk man strikes again!


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## nascarcamper (Jan 27, 2005)

We want more. We want more...


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## Oregon_Camper (Sep 13, 2004)

...bring em'


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## drobe5150 (Jan 21, 2005)

another great one
























keep em coming capri

darrel


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## Thor (Apr 7, 2004)

PDX_Doug said:


> Ahh...you're killing me here!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


























Thor


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## HootBob (Apr 26, 2004)

good one
almost spit my coffe out again
















Don


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## nynethead (Sep 23, 2005)

OK, one through three were great, are four through six better?


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## PDX_Doug (Nov 16, 2004)

nynethead said:


> OK, one through three were great, are four through six better?
> [snapback]82398[/snapback]​


I think this may be one of those flakey Star Wars things.
The three we just read are actually four through six.
The next group will be one through three, and explain how the first three...I mean the second three... came to be!









Happy Trails,
Doug


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## Sexy Momma (Apr 18, 2005)

AFFAIR #4:

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity."

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

"I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead!"


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## PDX_Doug (Nov 16, 2004)

Bad! Very BAD!!!









Keep 'em coming, Capri!









Happy Trails,
Doug


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## HootBob (Apr 26, 2004)

That was a low blow








Some more please









Don


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## aantolik (Apr 8, 2005)

Sexy Momma said:


> AFFAIR #4:
> 
> A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
> 
> ...


At least I won't have to worry about the mortician!


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## Huskytracks (Apr 18, 2005)

More, more more!!!


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## Thor (Apr 7, 2004)

Huskytracks said:


> More, more more!!!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You said it. How many more are there?

Thor


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## HootBob (Apr 26, 2004)

we'll find out soon enough









Don


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## Sexy Momma (Apr 18, 2005)

AFFAIR #5

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know," she sweetly replied, "Now just rest and let the poison work."

(It kinda sounds like Bree on "Desperate Housewifes"







) Anyway, there's only one more affair left for me to tell...


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## HootBob (Apr 26, 2004)

We were waiting for the next installment
Nice one Capri









Don


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## huntr70 (Jul 8, 2005)

Nice........

see, you should never admit anything!!
















Steve


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## nascarcamper (Jan 27, 2005)

Allright where's the last one?


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## Thor (Apr 7, 2004)

Yah - keep them coming









Thor


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## Sexy Momma (Apr 18, 2005)

AFFAIR #6 (The last affair)

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8:00 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. Then, he put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.

"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."

She looked down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"


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## huntr70 (Jul 8, 2005)

That just concludes some of the best jokes I heard in awhile!!!









Thanks!!!

Steve


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## PDX_Doug (Nov 16, 2004)

Well done, Capri!









We will be waiting for affairs #7-12 with baited breath!









Happy Trails,
Doug


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## nascarcamper (Jan 27, 2005)

Saved the best for last didn't you?


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## HootBob (Apr 26, 2004)

Now that was really good









Don


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## stapless (Feb 20, 2005)

great jokes! ROFLMAO.

thanks

scott


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## Thor (Apr 7, 2004)

All I can say Sexy Mamma























Thor


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## Oregon_Camper (Sep 13, 2004)

Always save the best for last....that was funny!!


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